frogboychickenrice

When You Came Over

2009-05-31T18:02:00.000+08:00

i wrote this story middle of last year. i realized i didn't post this up.

When You Came Over

When the lift doors opened on the 6th level of block 43, Pungol Avenue 8, she unglamorously shuffled her heels quickly across the concrete, dragging her left leg. She then dropped her handbag on the shoe rack beside the gate of her home and banged at the door.

“Alice!” she called out. “Alice open the door please!” But there was no reply. “Alice! I need to use the toilet now!”

There was no answer. She could not believe this.

Her legs twisted into a knot and she started to hop on the spot finding balance. She not only needed the toilet badly, she also fell on a curb next to the multi-storey car park on her way home. She spun around and rapped at the door directly opposite of her homes’. It belonged to the only other tenant on this level. She did not know the old lady that lived next door to her personally, but she knew her mother knew that lady and she was sure that she would allow her to use their toilet.

But when the door eventually opened, a young man wearing an England football jersey and light blue shorts stared back at her, eating a sandwich.

“Hello may I help?”

"My stupid sis! She's not at home. She’s supposed to be! I can’t open the door!"She said, heaving, “I need to use the toilet. Please.”

“Sure.”

She kicked off her heels and scampered past him and into the kitchen toilet desperately to relieve herself.

Upon relieving herself, she realised the toilet had the smell of Clear men’s shampoo and Dettol. An ivy green towel draped at a ledge beside a pair of jeans. The slippers were neatly arranged at the side of the door. The toilet paper was folded into a V at the tear. She flushed and left the toilet, eventually finding him seated on his living room couch finishing up his dinner.

“I-I’ll go now.” she slipped her handbag onto her shoulder.

“Okay.” He stood up politely.

She turned and opened the door. That was when the umbrella holder adjacent to the door toppled down by her push. The umbrellas slid out in all angles.

He lunged forward. “It’s alright. I can”

“I’m so sorry.” She squatted down to pick up the umbrellas and broom but kicked off the stack of shoe boxes from the wire rack and it fell down too.

“Oh gawd...” She muttered under her breath. She wanted to kill herself. He must have thought she was a serious klutz.

But she noticed he wasn’t frowning. “It happens to me too all the time.” And the mess was cleared fast.

She stood up and opened the door. Peering out, she realised her sister still had not returned home.

“You can wait here in my place till she comes home.”

“Oh no, I’m fine waiting outside, I’ve disturbed you enough.” She said as she picked up her handbag again.

“No you have not.” He insisted.

He was too nice, she thought. At the gate, she turned back at him with a question that surfaced, “Doesn’t an old lady around her late fifties, white hair, and very chirpy, live here? I’ve never seen you before.” She said as she slipped on one of her heels.

“Oh you must mean my mum. She lived here but she passed on two weeks back. She was a talkative woman wasn’t she?” he said looking at the photo of her on the wall near the door.

“Oh no…” She gasped again, covering her face in embarrassment. “I’m so sorry. I din mean to bring up-”

“-its alright.” He interrupted. “Anyway, I’m Eric.”

“I’m Rachel.”

“Rachel.”

“Yup.”

“You really should stay for awhile. I can get you a drink or maybe something to eat? I have tao hui…”

She pondered for a moment, looking sullenly at her own home that she was locked out of. She looked at him and he wore a look that made her smile.

“that will be nice.” She finally gave in.

She made herself comfortable on the couch as he proceeded to the kitchen.

“So, you staying here now?” saying loud enough for him to hear from the kitchen.

“I actually live at Bukit Panjang. I decided to stay here to take care of my mum when she was in a really sick phase. Now that she has moved on, I’m here to pack things up and plan on what to do with this place.”

“So you’re selling it?”

“Maybe. I stay beside where I worked. If I shifted all the way here, it would make no sense.”

“What do you work as?”

“I work as the resident doctor at a family clinic two blocks form where I stay.”

“Wow.” She said genuinely impressed. “I’m a receptionist at – don’t bother.” She sighed.

Eric smiled to himself. She was adorable.

He brought a large cup with Winnie the Pooh prints on it, to the tea table in front. It was a cold drink but it warmed her heart.

“Thank you.” She said and she drank a gulp. “Eric?”

He stopped and turned to look into her eyes.

“Yes?”

“You married?”

“I’m not married.”

“You have a girlfriend?”

He chuckled boyishly and gave her a puzzled look. It was then that she realised the inappropriate nature of her question in the conversation.

After an awkward while for the both of them, he managed to murmur a “no”.

“Wow. Living all by yourself.” She said twirling her cup, seeing Winnie the Pooh prance around with a pot of honey. “Must be really lonely...”

Eric looked up. Suddenly the flat was a void to Eric and he could feel the emptiness of its corners.

“No I’m fine myself.” He glanced back at her, blatantly lying.

“Me too.” She said still staring into her cup, lying too.

There was a silence. Rachel placed the cup down and began wrenching her ankle which still stung from the fall on the way home.

“Are you okay down there?” he said genuinely concerned. “Your toe is bleeding.”

“I’m fine doctor.”

“I’ll get medication.”

She winced at a sudden jolt of pain caused by her own wrenching.

“Let me see it.” He said as he returned with a green pouch of sachets and bandages. She was still in pain. He sat next to her on the right. She turned to him and propped her left leg on his lap and waited. He looked uneasy and she suddenly remembered she was wearing a skirt and she closed her thighs together.

“I didn’t see anything.”

She laughed.

“I didn’t say you did.”

“I’m terribly sorry…”

“Nevermind, just-“

“-Okay. Okay.” He opened the pouch. “Okay. Lets see.”He dabbed purple liquid on the affected area and wrapped cloth on her ankle. He smoothed the wrinkles on the tape out slowly. He then massaged her leg as he stared into her eyes trying to read her response to his physiotherapy.

“Ow!” She lunged forward. She grabbed him arm, wincing from the pain. Her head was just beneath his and he unintentionally kissed the top of her head.

It smelt fragrant like flowers.

“It’s okay. It’s just a muscle tear.” He whispered tenderly.

There was a long silence as he continued to massage the area around the affected area.

“Thanks for everything Eric.” She muttered. There was a softness in her voice now and her hand loosened and slowly slid off his. He gripped her palm just before it left his. Fighting thoughts, he breathed, hesitated, and then finally let go of her palm.

“Rachel… You should have left the door open. Your sister might have returned already.”

“Mmm.” She groaned listlessly obviously not listening. He realised she was comfortably lying back on the couch eyes closed and smiling. His body warmth resonated through her skin pores. The sky was a now a deep purple against the red setting sun. Eric stared at her. A woman so close to him now. He forgot about the wound he was fixing as he admired how her hair flopped like frozen ocean waves on the couch. Her face read a beautiful grin.

He begun to reconsider moving out of this place.

“Rachel…”

But there was no answer. She had fallen asleep there.

Memory

2008-10-31T23:30:00.000+08:00

14th February 2008, 10.45pm. The last few cars roared past for the night. He sat on the bench beside the 3rd street lamp of the bridge connector that stretched across the mouth of the Singapore River between the Esplanade theatre and the landscape of the entire central business district. Alone.

Lump in throat, thumb and index finger on his eyes. He sat there motionless and aching. Wondering why he was so stupid.

The bench he sat on creaked. Someone sat on the bench beside him. From what he recalled, there were a lot of empty benches to sit on. Lifting his fingers from his eyes that were now moist, he peeped to see who it was. It was a girl. Hair tied loosely at the back, wearing a chequered shirt, faded jeans and also a big black camera slung on the neck. She also wore a blank expression. He looked back down again and closed his eyes once more.

“Waiting for someone?”

A bus rumbled past behind them. He didn’t want to talk to the girl he wasn’t waiting for but he managed to murmur a “yes.”

“Waiting since?”

“Seven.” He breathed. “Six.”

She looked at him. “Wow. I’m sorry.” She said. “That you were stood up.”

There was a long and awkward pause as those words burnt his heart. To rub salt to the moment, an oblivious couple sauntered past him laughing and talking, distracted by one another.

“She told me she’ll-“and he lost his voice to the lump. His mouth was left gaping like a goldfish with nothing coming out anymore except for maybe a teardrop from his eye.

“Aww come here.” She shifted closer and placed her arm on his shoulder, she nudged him closer. He was not receptive to it but because he was too shaken to resist anything, his head sunk onto her shoulder and her arm on his, he felt like a huge boulder was lifted from his heart. Tears released themselves free.

“That bitch.” She said.

A motorcycle roared past behind, rattling a can onto the road shoulder.

“I don’t have a date. I don’t believe in Valentines Day. Not into this love thing at all. I’m actually here to photograph couples you know. A photograph competition project.” She said.

“Sounds interesting. Did you find any good shots.”

“Indeed. Let me show you.” She switched on her SLR and she pressed and clicked the mechanism. She veered the screen to let him see a picture. It was a young man seated on the bench all by himself looking awfully pathetic under the lamp light.

“It’s me.” He stirred. “God. I look pathetic.” He sat up. “You’re not gonna send this for the competition thing are you?” he threatened.

She giggled. “Nah.” Still, she loved the shot. It had piercing emotions evoked by the dim lighting, the posture, the face.

The river crashed below them.

“Do you mind if-“ she stopped and hesitated.

“What?”

“If we take one together?” she finished. “A photograph.”

“But I’m in shambles. I’m in a horrible state. You don’t even know me. Why?”

“Memory sake. Only one shot.” She promised.

“There’s no memory to keep.”

“There is.” She looked down, flushed. “To me.”

There was another of those painful silences.

“Must I smile?”

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

“Alright then.” He agreed and took a deep breath. He wiped his soaked cheeks and watched as she switched her camera on and panned it into position in front of them.

“Here goes.” She chirped. Both leaned towards one another. He realised her hair was soft and ticklish. The moment dragged.

Click.

He never saw the photograph as she left soon after, let alone her name. He never knew if his cheek that he discovered was slightly wet was because he did not wipe up all his tears away before the shot, or that it was wet because of her lips.

All You Bleed is Love

2008-08-30T01:01:00.000+08:00

Chiaroscuro of smiles and frowns doubts and pouts...

All You Bleed is Love

By Melvin Tan Ming En also known as Frogboychickenrice

Forward

Okay this 13000 word story is painstakingly written with much sweat and blood of drafts more drafts and storyboarding. All you bleed is love is NOT a romantic love story despite the title but it’s more of drifting and experiencing. I don’t know what made me write such a vulgar and wretched story about such a wretched protagonist of no moral compass that will make you tsk, but I believe it is worth a print and read on a boring Sunday.

Chapter 1

The Light Bulb

Pierced by a familial tear of a dead father. Crushed by inner emotional vulnerability. Tortured by what he knew was his lack of. Trampled mercilessly upon by the world and struck over and over again by fate, Mark was no normal person and was sick of living.

Being so, he didn’t need a moral conscience to protect his young soul for he felt that with so much shit in his life, he had nothing to loose. However to gain, he feels the world and God hold no limitations for him. For by the time he was twenty, his mind was bred into what others believed to be unconventionally daring. He would do what others would never think of. Think things unthinkable to men. This delinquent was ‘abstractly’ mental but before more condemnation one must note there was this slightest presence of genuineness and methodology in his lunacy in which you would realise as I go on, would put everyone else who are ordinary to shame. Mark is pure human in all-human aspects. Emotions. Morals. Decorum. But unlike others, he was free. To him life was just a fleeting mixture of rules to follow, lives to lead, emotions to feel, thoughts to think. And they were trivial. For that, people like him do not just torture themselves to their deathbed seeking something deeper that does not always exist. Mark in particular sees complexity in something simple. He manages to find answers to no questions at all. This is sense and logic of his own that I as the story teller, do not expect you to comprehend but simply appreciate. His passion sometimes cannot be put into words or logically be explained like science but it is unarguably his need and hence weaves his existence, lifestyle and behaviour. Mark is truly an exceptional one of a kind.

It was past midnight, Tuesday to Wednesday. At the ground floor, a dim ceiling light struggled to keep alit. The elevator tinged and opened to reveal a cerulean empty void. A distant scream resounded and then faded as fast as it came. Then the occasional rushing sound of water in the pipes rumbled past above two heads. Two young boys sat at a stone table meant for the elderly to congregate at boring afternoons to play chess. A 17-year-old Mark sat beside GuoWei, a 19 year old latter. Mark sat there with his hands apathetically slumped onto his neck. Smoke from the cigarettes weaved aimlessly in the air. A beer can crinkled across the floor beneath their feet as a breeze blew and they was talking.

“Someone should fix the light here,” said GuoWei, as he glared at the flickering lamp above their heads.

“But I like it flickering.” Mark said in a matter of fact tone. “It makes the shadows of everything dance.” He smiled boyishly at his logic, his fingers tracing engravings of the Chinese chess board on the stone table.

“I can see no shit when the bulb blinks like this. The bulb is loose la.” GuoWei concluded sensibly.

“The bulb is smart you know,” Mark remarked, “to hang up there loosely like that, it doesn’t have to work that hard. Plus it can create such a nice flickering state, what’s the point of shining so brightly on and on till it just blows and that’s it.” Mark drew a deep breath from GuoWei’s cigarette apathetically. “What a miserable life of a light bulb that would be don’t you think?” he continued with fumes coming out from his nose and mouth simultaneously.

There was a short silence as GuoWei struggled to comprehend mark’s sensibility.

“But it benefits people what.” GuoWei glared at Mark a bit and retorted mockingly, “We made light bulbs to work you know.”

Mark opened a new can of Barons from the six pack on the table with a crack followed by a soft fizz. Mark shifted in his seat. “What’s wrong with a rebellious bulb wanting to flicker like that?” Mark said defensively. He was stung by GuoWei’s lack of mutual sentiment about the issue. “You know what? Fuck all the other bulbs that are perfect.” Mark threw a beer can at the shining bulb far right from the flickering one. “They are all the same. After they blow, what would they think of themselves then? That they led a righteous life bringing light t all? What bullshit life is that man.” Mark said with hatred welling up already. “The other bulbs should flicker like that.” He pointed to the flickering light bulb with his beer can.

Instantly that bulb incidentally flickered it’s last and died flat.

Mark and GuoWei stared at the fused bulb for a minute or two. “You see. It died so fast and so ripe just like that. So brave.” He gulped down his new can of barons. “Respect.” He uttered and saluted the dead light bulb, spilling some of the alcohol. Mark finished off the can throwing it to a growing heap of empty cans beside where he sat. “After dancing and making the world around blink and groggy under its hypnosis, it leaves the world darker and more still than ever till the nooks and bends, insects, sleeping birds and shadows quiver at the absence of something.” He placed the cigarette into his mouth, blew out grey swirly airborne ribbons and continued, “The bulb is the only one that blinks here in this void deck. It blinks and as darkness and light fight for their space. The bulb blinks tears that leak on the bulbs metal casing. It cries inside the connections but no one sees it you know?”

“That’s enough beer for today Mark.”

GuoWei took the beer can out of Mark’s hand but Mark continued, “The darkness pushes the light which fights back but the light knows that the darkness is the stronger other that in the end, darkness will reign forever more after it dies! The light knows that it’s source is limited and little. The other bulbs simply hang on to the source afraid of letting the dark out, never knowing what the dark is like. They remain oblivious to their own dark fate…”

Chapter 2

The Maid

Mark’s family as typical as it could get was abuzz that Wednesday early morning. Breakfast was laid on the kitchen table where his mother and his cousin Janice who came back from a university in Britain were seated. They were talking about something on the newspaper. But as usual, Mark would still be locked up in his room away from them. Clad in yesterday’s basketball shorts and having a hangover from yesterday’s drinking, he was on his computer rushing his general paper assignment for the afternoon.

Suddenly a pleasant ding-a-ling opened an msn textbox. It was Felicia. Her msn quote was some bible verse Mark didn’t bother reading.

‘Hey Mark!’ it read.

‘Yes.’

With a mere yes, Felicia exploded the chat box with strings of proposals and matter of fact phrases. ‘You know we are in the same project work team right? We haven’t started anything yet. I know it’s still early but I think it’s good if we start early. I think we should start discussing what we should do over dinner. Is that fine with you?’

Mark sighed. She was a very pretty girl; gorgeous features, beautiful eyes and a stunning smile matching her cheery personality. Any normal boy would kill to go out with her but Mark was unsure.

‘Mark?’ Felicia called out. ‘So is dinner on or not? I really need to talk to you. As I said, I know we still got quite a bit of time but we should catch up a bit…’

The door into his room creaked open.

“Sir. Your tea.” The domestic worker crept in silently in fear of causing unnecessary disturbance to her boss’ son.

“Put it there.” He said flippantly, his eyes still gazing sleepily at Felicia’s text box.

“Sorry sir. Can I clear the magazines under the table?’

“Yes do.”

Some days Mark felt so lonely. He could just see Felicia and him meeting up for dinner. It would be nothing he would possibly like. Nothing planned seemed to please him but sometimes its things unplanned that do for that day, his maid knelt down beside his left leg to reach for his men’s health magazines that were scattered all over below the desk. Her flowy hair brushed his knees and Mark felt an unexpected but pleasant stirring in him as their two bodies were awfully warm and close to each other. Mark struggled to maintain decorum and posture but was weak inside already. He pulled back his chair a bit and allowed her to reach under the table deeper and she moved in. This was when the computer was forgotten about altogether. Her vulnerability captivated his state of mind. A twirl of inner craving and sensual bliss brooded intensively. He stared at her petite body that breathed and a trickling icy bite ran its poison all over him inside. Her body was within reach and touch. Her skin was bronze but was of a flawless supple. She was as human as he was, as lonely as he was, probably as deprived and sick up there as he was. His breath staggered when her hand reached for the magazine he was sitting on and as she drew the magazine wedged between his butt and the chair, it felt like a nice slow stroke of passion from her. She seemed to avoid eye contact but it seemed that under that table, her breath was faster than usual too, like his. Mark struggled a bit about what to do and not to do but subsequently stretched his arm under her chin and raised her face. She unexpectedly accepted his move and was silent and obedient. She looked up at him, a young girl in need of comforting… So beautiful. So sweet a connection. At that moment, with her head peaking out between his thighs, they stared at each other with such forbidden mutual passion, wild things were bound to happen. Anything could happen as feelings ran through their bodies like electricity as hormones, testosterones and infatuation was brooding up a toxic concoction. But as quickly as feelings came, it goes for suddenly a tidal wave of reality dawned upon their consciousness.

“I’m sorry.” Mark breathed deeply and said.

She resumed gathering the last few copies of magazines as if nothing had happened, then brisk walked out of the room with a soft thud and no words. Mark closed his eyes. “No no no no NO!” he gnashed to keep it silent as he placed his palms onto his frowning expression, clearly upset and guilty.

There was the moment where forbidden love felt like rational love. Where sin was romantic. Where love was the moment that engulfed everything else. But when the moment wanes off tangent by a slight degree, it becomes carnal and ugly. Lust becomes as sick as it sounds and the horrors of guilt and regret and dirtiness choke the air. Mark sat around proving his feelings right then wrong. Sometimes he would be overwhelmed with deep guilt; sometimes he was angry with himself for not going all the way. He didn’t know what was holding him back?

Whatever it is, the breakfast he ate later in the morning was particularly delicious and abck in mark’s room where his computer sat, Felicia was left unanswered about the planned dinner and was perplexed. She was still waiting for a reply.

Chapter 3

Felicia

Mark changed into his school uniform and left for his college but not without taking a peek at this unique beauty of his domestic worker, ironing his pants in her little room beside the kitchen. She was a silent foreign shadow of the house. A ghostly entity even, that cleans the mess. There was tolerance in her eyes. Obedience in her gestures. You felt like a king with her around yet you know she was powerful. Mark was deeply aroused by that. So focused… He wanted to grab her from behind and kiss her neck. Or ear. And tell her she is not alone in this island and that he although young and inexperienced, could provide all the necessary love she needs ever. Sadly this backlash of infatuation was met with time constraint. He had to go the school.

Mark sat at the far right of his classroom. The afternoon sunbeams unpleasantly shone onto the place he was seated. He still had bedroom eyes of disinterest. Peered at the oscillating ceiling fan that never failed to hypnotize. The teacher’s voice was a raspy background lullaby that orchestrated his sleepiness as a head waltzing performance. He twirled his pencil around his knuckles restlessly and was not listening to the lecture. Attended his school was nothing academic to Mark. It was one of those things he had to sit through. He knew what he wanted in life. Education provided another definition of life which Mark did not find appealing in the long run. Hence explains his other hand was grasping onto his Jansport haversack all ready to leave.

He was later found huddled and rocking behind the furthest block of his school building away from society, crumpled, unkempt and not giving much of a significant damn. He was also smoking a cigarette making the uniform he wore too innocent and his age too young. He was hiding after punching the teacher in charge of the class who treated him differently that afternoon.

“I thought I’d found you here.” A petite young lady stood at a turn. Her hair tufting at the wind. Wincing because of the sun. Her uniform was contrastingly neat.

Mark listlessly glared at the horizon.

“You didn’t reply me. The other day on msn. Well maybe you were busy. You don’t have to avoid me every time I seek you mark. Because I care and I will ensure you are all right. In fact God cares for you even more and is waiting at your side to love and guide you.”

Hearing Felicia making stories like that about God, Mark snorted and drew a mouthful of cigarette smoke, releasing the fumes from his nose. Felicia squatted down.

“Give me a chance Mark, to be a friend.”

Mark looked at her with the same blank expression and simply blew smoke onto her face.

Felicia sat there undeterred by his efforts.

“I’m not going to give up on you Mark.”

“Fuck off Felicia.”

“I’m not going to give up.”

“Suit yourself.”

“What is wrong with you Mark?” Felicia raised her voice in frustration at his stubbornness. “All this time you are so hostile to me. You are a smart boy. You do not need to seclude yourself. There are people who care about you. God cares for you. I care about you Mark.”

“Mark. Give God a chance. Or at least give me a chance. To help.”

There was a moment of silence.

“You won’t leave me alone because you love me and want to be with me.” Mark blurted shamelessly.

Felicia was taken aback by his forthrightness. “Mark…” she uttered with a serious frown. “This is so not true! How could you have the cheek to s-say that?” She stuttered a bit for what he said was actually quite spot on. Her lips trembled a bit.

Mark spat his cigarette on the floor and glared at her. Eyebrows touched his pupils. “Fine I’m gone then.” Mark stood up and brushed the dust off his pants.

Felicia stood there as he walked off. Obviously a lump in her throat that had formed by his words caused her silence. A tear drop slowly trickled down her face like suicidal slugs sliding down her sad, sad cheeks.

You are too happy, purposed and satisfied Felicia. You are too prim and perfect, pretty. You are not a real girl. God had taken the human out of you. I hate girls like you. You deserve to be raped and stripped off every prim and proper you own…

Chapter 4

Janice

It was Thursday. Mark hoped that one day his best friend would come and hug him from behind and by presence of his love or just simple presence itself, bring unexplainable joy to him.

Mark then felt his heart crash hard onto the cold floor for reality settled in. he had no such friend. Mark was depressed but this emotion was thoughtlessly suppressed by his very mindset in life and holding that thought, an intoxicated laughter resounded behind the closed door of Mark’s deceivingly normal bedroom. It was seven in the evening outside the glass windows of the five roomer. With such a beautiful ginger sky, magical things happen. Like another case of you-never-know-what-sick-things-your-neighbour-is doing, Mark was lying beside Janice, both without a stitch on. His hand was on her cheek he realised smelt of flowers of the kind he liked, while he continued the pleasure of stoking her hair. Legs intertwined and arms stuck onto each other skin on skin in a passionate harmony. Sometimes shockwaves of excitement rode up their bodies with every desire quenched with spontaneity and no pretence. Sex was common between the two young people. Perverse and beautiful, things sparked after she returned as a gorgeous eighteen-year-old overseas graduate with a new sexy British slang and a blasé magnetism Mark could never resist to gnaw at. But this romp was always done when Mark’s mother was out or sleeping. It could range from some healthy kissing to a passionate intercourse in bed. What Mark really enjoyed was contact with a girl he liked on in impersonal level, in other words, keeping it consensual. Janice was nothing like Felicia or any other girl that litters his world. She was awfully bashful at first but very brave and open enough to try new things normal girls wouldn’t do out of self-respect and morality. She made him feel whole and loved by someone with no strings attached. No one fucks someone he or she cannot stand. She was smiley and jubilant had a quirky edge and a supple vulnerable petite body he felt he had to protect with his own. Janice had beautiful eyes when she giggled at his jokes. He knew in his heart by her response and glimmer in her eyes then, that he was fit and good enough for her pleasure and delight, and this heightened his confidence as well and girls love confidence in bed and anywhere else.

“I’ll marry you if we were not related Mark. I would.” She said as she was tightly held.

There at this moment when both were in a vulnerable disposition. Mark slouched on his sheets leaning on a propped leg, drawing smoke deep into his wretched body. With a newly lit cigarette, he was struggling with nuisance morals in his mind. Any man set loose would have done what he did. Janice laid there with eyes open next to him, probably admiring the contours on his legs. She suddenly felt cold and goosepimply, lying naked with him and all. She turned away from Mark. There was a mutual fear in the air. Tense. Regretting. And some praying of desperation within their fragile hearts. But all these naïve feelings ended when Mark hugged Janice once more. Love burnt through their ashes and crashed through icy thresholds and something in their hearts somehow rekindled passion once again within the two. Like magic. Only God knows. The next minute, her bosoms were bursting out of his grip and she squiggled a bit with comfort’s euphoria, ending it off with a muffled moan. This move almost gave Mark another orgasm when a loud knocking brought Mark back down from heaven’s paradise and onto earth’s consciousness and then into hell’s guilt and conscience of dreadfulness about his current tangle. He had to at least wear his shorts and open the door. He wondered who it was for his mother should be still buying groceries with the maid. In the window beside his door struck a familiar silhouette. The hair, the height, the hips, the cheek.

It had to be fucking Felicia. Felicia the other girl. Felicia the stubborn nagging noise. Felicia the irritating stalking desperate bitch.

“What the fuck do you want Felicia.” Said Mark.

Felicia was immediately stabbed by his insensitivity but after some thought, questioned her soul if she had ever done anything wrong towards this young man standing in front of her at the entrance of his home.

She looked down sadly and said, “I just wanted to tell you that I completed the project we were supposed to do by tomorrow. I finished it for us since you did not turn up for all our arranged meetings or replied any of my messages. But it’s okay really. I know I am someone you do not wish to associate yourself with and it was such horrible fate to be chosen to work together but anyway, I shall pass you the presentation and a few pointers to say during our presentation tomorrow. You could call me if you are unsure of things. If you want. I’m sorry. That’s all. I’m gone.”

Before she turned, Janice now clad in her panties and his tee shirt that was oversizedly sexy on her, opened the door wider revealing to Felicia her slinky presence loudly.

“Who is she?” Janice eyed Felicia.

“No one important Janny.” He whispered lip to ear.

Mark stumbled in a drunk stupor a bit by the door and Janice’s weight. She giggled bimbotically. Janice placed her arm around his waist and she moved her fingers down towards his pants making the scene more vulgar by the second. Mark smiled and kissed her head in return in front of Felicia. He then turned to a stunned speechless Felicia saying, “Felicia, this is Janice. My cousin.”

The word cousin was emphasized intentionally to disgust Felicia.

Slightly wincing from the sight of perversion, Felicia fought herself as she stood there. “This is wrong. Mark. You know it.” She said as black forest pools welled up at her corneas.

You want to moralize me with one of your bible verses then?

Janice laughed.

Felicia said nothing.

Mark embracing the situation of hatred and proving, pulled off his top from Janice to uncover her beautiful supple skin. Soon they were both in a revealing passionate intimacy of groping, gasping and wasted laughter, at the doorway on the 6th floor of the old housing estate. Felicia began to shake with emotions. This was evil. Satan must be in this house of Sodom and Gomorrah right now for she has never seen such sin of carnal manifestation brooding in the hearts of men like that. She pleaded to God against the atrocity of the visual venom. She backed off, dropped the project file for him and skidded off with Mark screaming you could just ask if you wanted to join us bitch! and laughter.

Felicia cried in the lift. Crying is what she could only do with the understanding she has as a fervent Christian girl. She could never conjure enough guts or sanity to even comprehend such a deed Mark committed. It was just sick and obscene to her. She begged God for forgiveness for herself for being there. Still, she learnt something. It was about life and how it isn’t always normal. Extremes are experts. Weird are just others. Different is merely something new. The lift door opened and Marks mother and the maid stepped into the lift oblivious about everything Felicia saw.

Chapter 5

Felicia’s Phone Call

Back on the 6th floor, Mark’s phone rang.

“Mark your mother is in the lift. Now.”

“Felicia?”

“Your mother is in the lift Mark. You really should stop doing indecent acts with your cousin because your mother will not like it.” Felicia cried, ending off with an emotional whimper.

Before mark could reply, the phone disengaged with a long monotonous drone.

Guilt is a result of a healthy conscience. Mark did not have much of a conscience but Felicia’s warning did not have about his mother’s early arrival back home intrigued Mark especially after all the insensitive exchanges he had with her.

Chapter 6

Night Chat

That night Mark was sitting beside GuoWei at the playground beside his flat. Both were hunker down in a plastic pipe where children crawled in to get from one platform of the plastic playground to another.

“Remember Felicia?” Mark shifted to face him. “That bitch I told you about?”

“Yes. What about.” GuoWei was fiddling with Mark’s lighter.

“Today she saved my ass. For real.”

Mark finished his first can of beer and tossed it aside, scaring away a passing cat.

“She likes you mark I told you-“

“No I’m serious! She was strange fuck.”

“You are making me jealous Mark.”

“I tell you, before what she did I was really horrible to her.”

“She must really have the hots for you bud. Or maybe its some religious shit about forgiving and forgetting.”

There was a silence.

“She must really be into God I reckon.”

Silence again.

“Cigarette?”

Mark took a stick. He and his friend sat there for the next hour plus without saying much as the turquoise and red sky slowly bruised into a black.

They parted soon after. It got cold.

Company with GuoWei was one of the highest emotional times for mark. A company who understands beyond morals, loves and knows when to keep silent. Great minds thought alike that night and mark could sleep well for another night once more. His heart reconciled and comforted by others. He received tangible warmth.

Chapter 7

Mark Calls Back

Mark went back home in the early held the file Felicia left at his doorstep. His full name was neatly written on the cover and as he flipped the file. He didn’t even know her’s himself. He saw Felicia’s efforts and the lack of his. His heart sank into the deep abyss. He had no heart. He was a bastard. An asshole. An idiot. He kicked his school bag, spilling it’s contents.His head swirled even though he was sober. He was drunk with angst. He broke down and wept pathetically alone in his room all locked up. What was he? He suddenly caught hold of his senses and sat there. Breathing every wretched breath. Blinking every teary blink. WeiGuo’s phone is engaged at the moment. Alone. Stuck. Pathetic. Vulnerable. Bleeding.

Why Felicia?

Chapter 8

Good

“There is good in this world is there?”

“There is Mark.”

“But there’s not much of it. Good has always been a victim out there.”

“Good is what evil preys on and almost everything is evil or has an evil side. Is there hope?”

“There is. God is hope.”

“Is god real?”

“No.”

“But he is in us all. Guowei continued.

“Guowei. I have been evil.”

“Was good a whimpish sucker?”

“Yes. Yes she was actually.”

“Justice done then.”

Chapter 9

I’m Sorry

His hand phone beeped.

‘Felicia here. Remember to complete project script by tomorrow. Please.’

Mark shivered and dialled her number and called her. She picked the phone up and there was silence for a while between the two parties.

“Fuck it.” Muttered Mark.

There was a brief silence.

“Mark?”

“Fuck okay I am fucked up I’m sorry.” Cough.

“Mark.”

Silence, a whimper and a swallow.

“Where do you stay Felicia.” Whispered Mark.

She struggled within. She didn’t know what and how.“108. Greenwich Heights.”

“I’m coming. Now. I-I don’t understand the graphs on this page.”

On the other side, Felicia stood up. She cleared up the Kleenex on the couch and the floor. The girl smiled against soaking cheeks and puffy eyes. Her love has finally come to his senses. She read a verse from the bible. Prayed a thanksgiving and touched up her face with make up white over the grey. Her heart was pounding. He is coming. He is coming.

Chapter 10

He Comes

It was almost late. 8. Having stridden through a valley of street lamps and ixora bushes, Mark huddled in his black windbreaker. He stood outside Felicias’ terrace house. It was the purest of white with furniture that were mellow earthy compliments. A mark of a well paid interior designer. A wooden cross hung at the doorframe. Mark wandered in, slightly cowed by the huge foreign quiet milieu.

In the house, although the chandelier was not switched on, Mark could see a decadent arrangement of vases, marbled tiles, huge picture frames and lavish entertainment wares. Typical domestic indulgences of a well to do family.

“Coming!” shouted a crisp voice from the second floor. Soon pitter-patter of feet on the marble tiles grew louder and a slender Felicia appeared. She was clad in a predictable pair of FBT shorts and a college t-shirt.

“Hello Mark. Do come up. Everything is upstairs.” Stuttered Felicia. Her chirpiness made his stomach churn but he told himself he had to do this. It was a favour.

Mark obeyed and followed her route into her bedroom which was also her study.

Other than two soft toys at a corner, Felicia’s bedroom was mature looking. Books lined a huge bookshelf. Jodi Picoult. Agatha Christie. C S lewis. Tom Clancey. She was such a girl. A poster of Hillsongs United hung above her desktop that was equipped with a Macbook. Mark always wanted a Macbook. She had a plate of cookies and colourful cupcakes that spelt out effort all prepared for him. There were a few packets of the soy milk he liked.

Felicia glanced at him.

“You may sit here.”

Mark took off his haversack and windbreaker. He sat on the bed beside the chair she sat. A second too late to realise that they were awkwardly alone and close to each other. She still felt uncomfortable at times as snapshots of the other day came into her mind but work was work and soon they began doing their project. After Felicia taught mark how the graphs worked, she told him to recite his script. Partly for practice sake, partly so that she could stare at him without being perceived by him as obsessed or perverse.

Sometimes, their arms brush against each other amidst the flurry of work. Felicia’s heart would flutter uncontrollably and would warm with joy by the simple contact. But this feeling would be mutually exclusive. Mark thought nothing of that sort. He obliviously sipped his soy milk.

Mark stood up.

“Felicia I need to pee.”

“Toilet’s in my grandmother’s room. Third level far left.”

“Ok.”

“She’s mute Mark. But she prefers to be referred to as Magret. And don’t bother expecting a reply.” She asserted nonchalantly.

Felicia left Mark to explore the route he was instructed with while she continued their work back in her room. Mark was particularly curious. A photo gallery on the walls up to the third storey caught his eyes. The pictures were filled with a very happy and blessed family. Many of the candid shots were loving, proud and warm. Many of the photos also showed that they travelled widely. There was one of Felicia and her parents building a snowman at the Madison square garden in America. Another picture showed a very young Felicia smiling behind a Japanese temple entirely made of gold.

Mark could not help but compare their happiness with his lack of. Who was to be blamed for his poor upbringing? He didn’t even have a father since 5. Mark’s soul lunged and twisted within. He was very jealous and angry towards himself. He looked away unable to take in anymore ‘happiness’ of others.

He walked on and walked into a huge and beautiful room of luscious flowering curtains. Huge potted plant . Mock serene paintings of lily ponds by Manet. There was also a huge pink bed.

An old lady sat at the bed’s far edge, sitting demurely. She was looking at Mark with curious eyes. She was sipping tea and smoking a cigarette. She donned a white silky dress. Playing a symphony was a huge antique radio.

“Erm hi I am Felicia’s project work partner and I need to use your restroom if it’s okay with you Magret.”

The old lady sipped her tea and drew from the cigarette. And Mark listlessly ushered himself into the toilet.

When Mark left the room, Felicia didn’t know where to begin. He is here. Right here in her room. She admired his penmanship. She caressed his windbreaker. She stroked his haversack and squeezed it tight towards her chest, smelling it. It smelt like him and her mind raced. Soon fluttering images of Mark holding it, hugging it, tossing it on the floor and even unzipping it played in her mind. She took it and admired the frayed lining. Her favourite shade of dull blue. Somehow very sensuous. Oh Mark! She moaned. She hugged it like a baby and imaginary swirls of colour and brightness lit up her face and all around. It was ecstasy to hold something he owned. She kissed and rubbed every fray and decolourisation. It was an obsession. Captivating. Overwhelming. This is Marks’. Marks’. Her other hand touched herself with pleasure. Tingling rippled through her body as she inspected the contents. It animated her. A pair of slippers. Yes. A collage of rubbish laid untidily in there. A CD player. Awesome. A half-eaten pack of raisin buns. That’s too much. Pure flawlessness in choice of things to be in a bag. She wanted them all, to keep them in a secret box… Maybe she should set up an altar to worship these artefacts and relics of Mark. Mark…

She heard nerves that started writhing within her. Then a sudden inner backlash whipped across her conscience. Why are you feeling this way Felicia? You are a God fearing and very attractive girl with so much to look forward to. Why do you love him? He has nothing. What was she in love with him about? Maybe because he was different. Whatever it was, Felicia just knew one thing. Out of all the young men out there. Mark seemed to know.

Her thoughts echoed through her mind. It was not a mere crush. She yearned for him. The trees outside ruffled and a dog howled 3 houses away.

Chapter 11

Margret

An old lady was sitting quietly one floor above Felicia’s. A young man had just entered into her room to use the toilet. A subtle trickle could be heard from the toilet. The old lady sipped her tea and drew another breath from her cigarette. She stared at the mirror in front of her and smiled to herself. She felt a gurgling gush or a spark ignition within her warming heart. She knew something was extraordinary about things and tittered.

A flush and an opening of the door. Mark came out of the toilet. He then noticed something that wasn’t there before he entered the toilet. An extra teacup on the table with a fresh cigarette stick balanced on it. It was an invitation. The cheek of the lady charmed Mark and he motioned towards her with a grin which also grew on her.

“Is this for me?” He asked.

Her smiled remained on her silky skin. She knew he was different from the way he looked at her when he entered. She knew that now life would no longer be too late to get any better anymore.

A floor down, Felicia was planning mark’s conversion course. She was very happy he came. It meant he changed or wanted to change. That he had a conscience. That he had feelings. That he had hope and love that is kind. First she planned to get him be friends with her. Platonic freinds. They would go out on movies, chat and hang out. Then she would bring him to church, evangelistic conferences, Christmas gatherings and care groups. This way he would connect and be reborn again. Salvation erases all past transgressions. Hope. Then it could spark the start of their love story.

Back in Mark’s home, another girl also had him in her mind. Janice sat at home fantasying of the times of passion she had been having with her related lover. Her cousin. Her mark. She hugged herself in bed with bliss. She waits for him in his bed. She waits for the night…

Mark did not peel his eyes off the peculiar beautiful lady in a baby-blue gown as he lifted the cigarette to light it. He felt his pockets but it had no lighter. He moaned. The lady tactfully stretched out a lighter to light his. Mark’s eyes trailed her every move. She put the lighter down and held up his teacup of dark brown tea towards him. Mark took it and noticed it was cold. After a few puffs Mark indifferently took a sip and was caught unaware of its distinguished musky sweetness of the drink which had an echoing sensation in his nose and throat. That was when he realised it was not tea but liquor. Fantastic.

“You should have told me it was alcohol.”

She placed a finger on her curved lips.

“It’s a secret?” Mark laughed. She was so adorable. Unexpected. Mysterious. His type.

She reached behind her and lifted her pillow and there lay a large bottle of vodka.

“It’s really nice.” He said with his cup in his mouth, emptied.

She topped up another shot from the bottle for mark and herself.

She took her innocent looking teacup and bottomed it up.

He was genuinely impressed and nervously looked at his 2^nd cup. With a deep breath, he gulped it down.

As his face flustered, she giggled without a sound and mark smiled. He downed his teacup of alcohol with gusto and zest. Warmed up by his challenge, she downed hers in the same manner as well, followed by a few more. Subsequently

Mark was impressed by the lady’s ability to take the alcohol. Mark soon got a bit groggy. He felt increasingly rash. His mind felt like it deflated and his eyelids melted. Mark was vulnerable to anything when he was drunk.

Thoughts were loose and he found his actions done before considerations. Before his mind adjusted, he laughed and had a smile on his face. He didn’t know the reason for his elation. The cold air of the room rose. Pink sheets of soft silk. The comforter was waves to be smoothened. The sheets were like the sea. His mind was churning. Either that or it was not there at all. It was free and gone along with morals and thought processes. It was frightening sometimes but most of the time it was blissful. He was high, happy without a care in this world. It sounded wasteful but it was emancipating. Encompassing. Complex and surreal. Definitely indescribably or irrationally needed.

He wasn’t thinking he let her silent ways of communication reverberate from his head to his toes. Serenaded by music that was strangely milky and dizzying, he closed his eyes as concentrating on anything was futile efforts.

He motioned towards the demure lady and held her waist and shoulder. His face crept up to hers to whisper something and their lips brushed each other’s wet. He grabbed her oblivious thigh and flushed his palm in deeper. Her skin was soft. She squirmed .

“Come closer darling.” She mouthed and he obeyed…

Suddenly a call resounded from the floor below. “Mark are you done yet? What’s taking you so long?” Mark felt like an anchor dropped down into his stomach. The moment was severed. Mark had forgotten about Felicia who was waiting for him down below.

“Felicia er-em” Mark stumbled aback releasing his embrace. He hesitated a while. “I’m coming. I’m coming.”

His mind swirled and he forced himself back into reality again. Things fell back into place. His head throbbed with a fever. The music got irritating and he realised the sheets were wet. But she was still gorgeous.

Mark snubbed his cigarette, took a deep breath to retain composure and attempted to proceed down. This was not before the old lady grasped his arm in a dramatic tableau and stared intently at him. There was this moment of motionless where they stared at each other. With her one look, Mark understood.

“Another time. I promise.” He said. He reattempted to hold a sober composure and proceeded one level down to get back to Felicia.

Back in the room, he noted that Felicia was scribbling something busily.

“I er had to shit. Sorry.” He lied.

“Oh.”

Silence. Mark hesitated.

“Felicia. I think I am ready for tomorrow’s presentation. It’s getting late and I am tired.” He lied.

Felicia dreaded his words and the fact that he wanted to leave. But as she peered to look at him, she noticed he looked tired.

“It’s true. It’s already 1030pm. You really look drowsy and you look like you need to get some sleep. I edited your draft and I filed in the newspaper cuttings for you.”

“Thank you Felicia.” Mark said. She gave a caring smile and tipsily, he hugged her because he felt she deserved it as a mark of appreciation.

Felicia flushed at mark’s act. It confused her. She did not know what this act meant, whether it was a sign of affection sparking or something less significant. As mark withdrew his torso, their cheeks swept onto each other, giving Felicia an overwhelming gush of sensations. She flustered and deep down wanted more contact but Mark anticlimactically moved away quick, turning his back to get his haversack, windbreaker and his file. He had enough body contact for the night.

Felicia’s soft “bye” trailed behind him as he left the room. She was left seated on the desk, all fluttery and euphoric inside. Mark wobbled down the seemingly endless parquet staircase. Midway, he ran up to the lady on the third floor and kissed her cheek. He paused and kissed her lips too. Might as well he thought.

“I am going home now. I promise I’ll come back here to meet you again okay?”

The old lady grabbed his head and kissed back. She then placed a classic frank Muller’s wristwatch into his young hand.

Mark suddenly went as mute as her. He gave her a full bodied embrace that was more wholesome than the one he gave to Felicia and left soon after.

Mark left the terrace house not long after with Felicia peering out of the window looking very hopeful. The old lady on the third floor was also peering out but she was really feeling on top of the world. Both love struck.

Chapter 12

Shock

Back home Janice peered out of the doorway. She had a brighter façade than usual as she straightened her short nightdress she was wearing. It was white and semi-translucent. She waited for him with a queasy longing. Janice looked very sensuous leaning on the door like that. She was alluring and emitted a sultry continence. That was when mark stumbled into sight. Janice brightened up and grabbed him.

“Mommy’s not here.” She smiled.

Mark hesitated.

“Not today. Let-go.”

Mark pushed her away and walk towards his bedroom. Janice was stunned for a moment. Janice struggled to comprehend his actions for to her Mark was unpredictable but she also knew he was naughty. She grinned and sauntered after him into the bedroom, slowly unzipping her nightgown and sashayed her hips.

Mark started up his computer oblivious at Janice’s forthcomings. Janice hugged mark from behind. Mark felt nothing but a stale slab of flesh on his, having hugged a number of people today already, his feelings were absent.

“No I said not today”

“You want it Mark. You always do.”

Her touch was no longer as pleasurable. Her bodily contact felt dry, cold and unappealing. It almost made him yawn at its lack of stimulation. It was empty. An answer for lust and a solution for his bodily desires. But mark needed and had found something better.

Mark pushed her nimble body away from his. He felt disgusted about her advances. Janice was perplexed.

“Mark what’s wrong with you?”

Silence. He could not even look at her for his heart now belonged to someone else. He comforted himself that he didn’t love. They merely enjoyed each other’s bodies. Each other’s company. Each other’s warmth. But deep inside, Janice meant something special to mark. But to Janice, mark was something more. He was her life, her thoughts, her highest points in her life.

“Come on mark.” Coaxed Janice as she touched his shoulders and waist.

Mark did not move.

Janice got the message, stepped back and wore back her gown. She was furious a but increasingly desperate. She hugged him again. One last try. The sensual tickle of the cheek and fluttering butterfly of her eyelash on his back. Out of the entire caress, all he felt was a tight warmth around his waist. A pelvis flushed behind and her head leaning on him. This was a definition of her love itself. “What’s wrong Mark. You are not like that.”

“I can’t.”

“What do you mean you can’t?”

“You’re my cousin.”

“What bullshit since when do you care?”

Pause.

“Is that why you-it’s a stupid excuse mark. We love each other remember? “

“I never did Janice and I want to stop this relationship between us . Today on. For our own good.”

Janice was struck to the heart and her heart bled. Profusely.

“That’s it-all you…”

Silence.

“You! How could you be like that?” She uttered coldly, obviously disorientated by his seemingly insensitive words. “How,” She failed to comprehend his sudden change of feelings for her. But mark knew when he closed his eyes. He could only see Margaret. Her demure poise. Her cheek. Her beauty. Her love. It was something he never had at all and all at once. Janice broke down uncontrollably. Mark was shocked at her reaction. He never knew she felt this much about him for their relationship was purely sexual but little did he know in his young life mind that love was so much more complex. She wanted his love again so badly.

“Please Mark.” pleaded Janice pathetically. “I’m pregnant.”

That was when all life was sucked out of the room. Mark looked up at her. She was genuine and crying. “I was about to tell you anyway. I missed my period and I took the test. It’s a positive. I’m pregnant mark.”

He looked at her.

“No. You are not.”

She cried harder at his irresponsible answer. I’m not joking how could I joke about something like this mark. Mark embedded his hands into his hair. He was perplexed. He felt he like he was just hit by a truck. This was his worst nightmare. Unthinkable.

“Mark.” called Janice. “We could work this out together you know. The child-”

The child. These words sent chills down his spine and his heart freezed over. A clinging pestilence. A ticking bomb…

“The child’s not mine.” Asserted mark. He stood up.

“Mark!” Janice said vehemently and in utter disbelief. “How could you ever say such a thing? I’m not a slut I only fuck you so it’s ours!” Screamed Janice who had her tears rolling down her face like nobody’s business.

“I can’t have it.” Mark repeated. He took his bag and backed off from the riled young lady in the room.

“You come back here!” was met with a slam of the door. Mark ran. He just ran away as fast as he could. He scrambled down the stairs. His mind a slur. He never wanted anything more than pleasure in his relationships. She was escapism. Liberation. But now she was a nightmare.

Chapter 13

Moon

Mark recalled 2 weeks ago on a bench down the road.

“Mark do you love me?” Janice asked.

“I love you as long as the moon stays up in the sky.”

“But mark. The moon sets when the sun comes up.”

“It doesn’t set Janice. The sun just outshines it.”

“It is still there. It will always be.”

“But something outshines it. I don’t like your analogy.”

“The moon is beautiful Janice.”

“I am beautiful.”

“You are.”

“Some nights there is no moon in the sky mark.”

“Well, the moon is just not in sight but I know that she is out there. Somewhere, shining beautifully.”

“Some days the moon is really small, some days the moon is really huge.”

“Unpredictable. Just how I like it.”

Janice giggled. “You are so cunning Mark.”

“I am.” He said listlessly.

Silence.

Mark? I am not the moon am I?

“You are not the moon Janice.”

That night, he sneaked back home when the house was asleep. Mark was captivated and enchanted. He felt surreal. He tossed and turned in bed alone, unable to stop thinking about Margret. Whenever he thinks of her, he sees one who truly loves him for him. And he loves her for what she is. She has something mysterious and unattainable about her. Her aura could not be explained through words but looking into her stunning and knowing eyes. He could also remember her attractive diminutive demure misdemeanour attitude that hooked him to her I the first place. He also now that he was sobered down, he could recall the way the rich silk fell upon her soft skin which he had the chance to caress. It left a lasting lingering warmth underneath his skin. He touched his new watch and it glimmered with her love for him. Her warmth reverberated underneath the comforter tucked him into a goodnight sleep but there was a nagging sob in the room beside his. It was Janice crying about marks change of stance.

Guilt began strangling Mark’s neck again but mark knew it was always a woman’s plight to instil guilt and regret into a decided soul like his. Hence, he covered his ears with the pillow and focused harder on Margaret and ignorance was bliss.

Chapter 14

Revisitation

Back at Felicia’s house, Felicia was seated at her study cross-legged on her blue study chair, twining different strings together. She was making a band that looked just like the one Mark wears on his left hand for her to keep. It was a memento for herself to keep her warm when he was not around. A personal symbol of hope, infatuation, happiness and obsession.

The sunrays from the bedside windows glowed and warmed mark’s skin. Mark rubbed his eyes and ruffled his hair against the beams; dust particles were suspended and twirling against themselves in midair. Fuck was his first word of the day. he was late for school. He grabbed his shirt and pants and almost went into the shower when he looked at his watch. Saturday. Fuck was his second word of the day. This deflated all angst and he rolled to his side. He grappled for his cigarette box wedged between the bed and his waist. He wanted to have a morning puff to kick off his day. He laid there for the next 30 minutes but his mind didn’t. He was particularly happy for there was a woman in his life now. After he made his bed, packed his wretched uniform and hummed a song while he took a bath, he decided it was a good day to visit Margret.

Mark stood outside the terrace house once more. He peered at the 3^rd storey and grinned at the unconscious window. In his hands held a bunch of fresh roses. Felicia was running to the gate with a perplexed expression on her face.

“Mark? What are you doing here? It was then that he saw the poorly hid roses and she stopped in her tracks.

“Mark…” she exclaimed. Her grin was shameless.

“I don’t know what to say.” Felicia blushed. Mark sighed and passed the bouquet of flowers to her. Telling her that the flowers were not meant for her was much more difficult to say than he thought it was. She was hopping over the flowers. She smelt the flowers and remarked how sweet smelling it was.

“Do come in!” she sang.

Mark stood around the living room where Felicia seated herself. She was smiling at him and he forced a grin back at her.

“You know, Felicia decided to pour out. I knew you were sweet and that one day, god would pour his blessings I’ve prayed about on you. And here you are! Mark! I never thought I saw the day you’d-”

“Felicia can I give the roses to your grandmother upstairs?” He blurted.

“What?” Felicia clarified. “Well.” She stumbled at his strange request but then she saw pure kindness and compassion in his request and he hugged Mark.

“Oh mark! You have changed for the better! Praise the lord!”

“Yes I have.” Lied Mark.

Her hug was well meant and pack full of emotions but his pat on her back in return was cold and emotionless. He waited for Felicia to calm down and proceeded up stairs with the flowers. Felicia wanted to tag along but told her to stay put and she obeyed. As he walked up the stairs it was then that his emotions arose.

Nerves ricocheted in his body and he was excited to meet her again. He opened the door and there she was standing there. It was as if she was waiting for him to come all these while.

Reality stopped at the door frame and closed its eyes. He lunged forward . Arms moved. Grabbed. Trailed around. Abated breaths. Then heavings. Tingling sensation. Groped. Thrusted. Licked and a long lip locking. Falling on the bed. Grasping the sheets. Writhe. Moaned. A bright blinding light. A wholesome sensation momentarily paralysing his body with pure comfort. Tmie stopped. The world a standstill. Then he opened his eyes that were now moist. A pale body materialised beneath him. Staring back at him with the most love-struck eyes. Soon sheets appeared, then the afternoon glare, windows, walls, reality and smack. Consciousness came flooding back and he was human again. He smiled. He couldn’t stop smiling. She smiled too. Feeling hot inside, he kissed her. He sits up and wears his clothes. He realised the roses he brought were now crushed on the bed due to their romp.

“Another time.” She nods and left.

Sex made love that much more intimate, that much more desirable, that much more passionate. It left the 2 people. Each other’s warmth that could pull them through the hopelessness of life. It was an act that gave the mute enough language for the rest of her life.

Chapter 15

Left Bewildered

“Mark!” Felicia exclaimed as he descended down the stairs. Felicia was oblivious to what he did up there. “I have baked something I believe you would love.”

Love.

“Thanks.” He took a slab of pie and headed out of the front gate. It took a while for Felicia to believe he was really leaving. Her head slanted, struggling to comprehend his abrupt departure from this unexpected visit.

“You are welcome.” Felicia muttered. Standing at the tableside, holding another dish. Her hands shivered weak and she dropped the plate onto the table. The cookies spilled onto the table and onto the floor. He left so quickly. Disappointment filled her for she could not understand what was happening. She felt the living room of her big home grew bigger and emptier than before. The place was also getting too dim despite the heavy afternoon sun. Her heart was heavy all of a sudden and she sat on the chair. She could not understand. Maybe he had to go someplace else. Maybe he was busy. She also wondered if her grandmother was touched by the bouquet of flowers.

The lift rumbled. Mark stood, leaning against a side. His conscience covered him there. He was indulging consensual sex. He was father at 17. His life was dirt. A mess. He was suddenly afraid of the future. Confused. The lift jerked to a halt. The door greased open. Florescent lights of the lift landing flooded in. he realised his hands were clenched tight. Fingernails had dug into his palms. Cold sweat onto his temples.

It’s what anything in the world could not answer.

Yet it is integral to the world.

Opportunity and body given little choice.

It’s what god created yet unable to humanly rationalize.

It’s what religion failed to comprehend.

It’s hopelessness which breeds more hopelessness. The sore is the guilt, inside and out.

Of moments a body without heart

A soul with a gaping hole.

When the heart returns it’s black purity

More feelings than ever

Note that the cycle that works like a trap or a cell.

This is a game to be played till God knows when.

Chapter 16

Why Do You Love?

That night mark sat with the old man at the void deck once again. It was not quiet like the day before as rain shattered the glass of stillness. The colours all around were an ephemeral desaturation of grey greens and dull browns. This was perfect for Mark. He was hyper with the weather and environment behaving like him. He felt less alone.

“Why do you love, Mark?” GuoWei asked.

“I don’t know what you are talking about.” Mark replied. “You make love sound like something optional. It’s a sickness. If you decide to act upon it, you’re cured. If you don’t, you suffer till you die and your heart will hurt like crazy.” Mark stared into the rain. “The cure for the sickness is not guaranteed. Most of the time, you will end up more hurt than people who did not act upon the sickness and seek a cure or something.”

“Well you are still sick aren’t you? You have not recovered haven’t you?” Mark questioned GuoWei. “Tell me.”

“I-”, But before GuoWei could finish, he burst into tears.

“I thought so.” Mark said still staring into the rain. “It is sad you’re sick. I was too but I think I found my cure. For good.”

Chapter 17

The Confrontation

Mark dragged his legs towards his flat after another late night drinking with his friend. Upon opening the gate, conversation ceased between his mother and Janice. She signalled Janice to her room and turning to Mark, she placed her fists on her waist.

“Where have you been? You know what time it is?”

“I always come back at this time.”

“You still have the cheek to say so. You have got a lot to answer to me. I’m on the verge of calling the police now.” She was shaking and her veins were defined. Janice who stood at the door frame of her room, was looking away.

“I don’t know what you are talking about.” Out of everyone he knew, his mother probably knew the least about his life. It was then that he saw; from the creak of the door where Janice slept was a face. A glare. And he immediately understood.

“What did you do to her?” his mother said.

A thousand and one things came into his mind and a fear grew within him and the room grew colder.

“I don’t know what you are talking about.” He lied once more.

“Janice said she is pregnant!” Her voice hurt his conscience like a stab in his chest.

“So? It’s not mine.”

“Liar!” screamed Janice as the door flung open. You could see on her face that her heart was bleeding inside.

“I can’t believe you could even have the thought of raping your own cousin.” Her anger in her words turn frost and it trailed off into a wretched sob. “I can’t believe…”

Mark stood there silent.

Her mother’s eyes grew thin and condemning, “How could you?” she uttered through gritted teeth and saliva splattered out. Her words were unbearable. “How could you touch your cousin like that? Where are your morals! What is going on in your head Mark?”

She cried. Janice was crying too but Mark stood there sullen and still.

“Oh God.” Her mother wiped her tears and frowned at him who she could not comprehend. “All these years I brought you up, taken care of you and you have to do this to me. What have I done wrong as your only parent? I teach you and feed you yet you have to do this. What have I done wrong you tell me? What has Janice done to deserve your violation? She is so innocent and such a sweet girl, now what will people say about her? What will Janice tell her boyfriend next time? Will any boy accept her now that she became like that by you? What will she do? Why must you do this and hurt so many people? You are selfish for that you know?”

Mark stared at Janice. Obviously she did not disclose the entire truth about their relationship to his mother.

Janice stirred at the back. “Aunty.” She murmured, “Don’t say anymore.”

“Don’t say anymore? Janice! He destroyed your dignity! He ruined your purity and virginity! He destroyed your life!” she turned back to her son again, “If I had known what you were doing to her I would have made you move back to Britain!”

“Fuck all this bullshit.” Mark walked past a morose Janice and slammed the door behind him.

“Mark you get out of the room right now or I will call the police! You better come out now and explain yourself! Mark!” His mother rapped at the door screaming, “What has gotten into you? You have put me through so much shame already don’t you have any self respect to face your consequences after what you have done to Janice? She does not deserve this you know? Mark!”

In the room Mark began to blast loud heavy metal in his room till the entire cabinet vibrated with the bass. It was meant to drown all the noise and to dissolve all problems.

“Mark! You turn off that noise now!” she banged, “You get out of there now!”

Her voice was now a mere whimper against the drums. Mark laughed on his bed heaving with madness. He pictured himself holding a teaspoon of water and powdered morphine over a lit candle, boiling the concoction, then pulling the mixture into a syringe and giving himself a shot of pure bliss. Unfortunately for him, he has no excess to it. People said the feeling of it in your blood makes you loose yourself. You just lay there and sink into the floor and fall into a place where nothing mattered and all your troubles are not there. Mark opened his cupboard beside his bed. He pushed out his books onto the floor. A hidden bottle of vodka was stashed there. Ah pure escapism. He grabbed it and stood at the window of his room which was as black as his life now. He focused on the orange streetlights and gulped down the liquor, attempting to push down the lump that had formed in his throat. With every piercing gulp his eyes blur with tears that refuse to flow.

“…You heart knows that what you did was wrong. Why can’t you repent? Mark please! Don’t do this to your mother! I’m half a decade old.” She banged the door again and again. Like a crazy person.

Guilt, pain and anger made him fall upon his bed. He wiped his hands down his face and closed his eyes. I’m still alive. I’m still alive. The vodka bottle dropped onto the floor as he watched what’s left of it gurgle out of the glass bottle.

His face was flushed. He held his breath and counted to three but he was still in pieces. He had hit rock bottom.

“What kind of son are you? Do you know the severity and consequences of what you have done?”

“Aunty, stop already!” whined a voice behind her mother’s.

Behind the closed door, Mark placed his hands into his pants.

“You better discuss what you would do as responsibility to what you have done. It’s too late for an abortion. What are you going to do Mark?” she continued.

His head hurt with every word she said. He felt heavily burdened. His toes twitched together and curled. He needed to fuck the noise and hell away. He needed a release as feelings were intoxicating him. He grew harder with hate and everything soon became strangely surreal.

He searched for cigarettes but his stash was empty. He took the bottle of vodka bottle from the floor but it was empty. So he began to pleasure himself with his hand.

“How could you just lock yourself in there and on such loud noise? You cannot run away from what you did like that Mark! You cannot run away from what you have done!”

He lunged forth with his mouth gaping and eyes flushed up and a crooked smile grew upon his face. The vodka bottle rolled off the bed and fell onto the floor, shattering into a thousand pieces.

“Mark you better get out of there now. I am holding the phone and I will call the police to deal with you if you do not want to deal with this the easier way.”

The door swung open.

His mother stood there still. Mark stuffed the tissue of his semen into her mouth, leaving Janice and her in shock. He walked into the kitchen. His mother spat out the tissue and was perplexed by the sticky substance that trailed the tissue from her lip. Then there was a scream from the maid’s room. The next moment Mark was dragging the screaming maid out of the house. “Mark!” His mother screamed and lunged towards the boy she no longer recognised.

“Don’t even come close.” He asserted, brandishing a chopper. Her mother stepped back staring in utter disbelief and fear. Janice knelt where she stood sobbing in the background.

“God have mercy please. Help us.”

What was in his mind could not be comprehended by anyone. He was desperate and crazy. All he knew was that he had to show them.

“Please… please…” the maid begged for mercy but mark grabbed her waist and hoisted her to the lift lobby of the building. Mark tore off her top and she cried.

“I raped didn’t I?” he murmured under his breath. “I raped didn’t I? You want to know what rape is?”

“No nono!” the maid pleaded. But he pulled down her shorts and panties. “No please! No!” she begged and kicked in defence but a piercing pain entered from between her legs.

Revenge. Justice. Fairness. Mark thought. “You want to know what rape is. I’ll show you what it is.” and in a moment where emotions covered sensibility and rationality, with a hard thrust, she screamed and there was blood. Every thrust thereafter was out of anger and hatred till a point where she no longer wrestled nor scratched. They sunk onto the floor beside a pile of newspaper, under the dim lights of the night, where the void of the HDB flat echoed sounds and sobs. There lay their two bodies. Mark began to cry.

“Mark. What the fuck is going on?” a familiar voice resounded from the stairway landing behind him. Mark turned. It was Guo Wei. “I heard a scream and a lot of noise from downstairs.”

“So you’ve came here to join me?” Mark turned back and caressed the woman.

“Mark this is wrong.”

“But you said there isn’t much good in this world anyway remember? That good has always been a victim out there? Its true you know Guo Wei. I am no longer sick. I have found my cure. I am the flickering bulb Guo Wei. He said staring madly at him with a boyish look on his face. It was then he burst out in laughter when he realised the maid was no longer conscious.

“Fuck this. Fuck it! Fuck all!” and he laughed manically.

That was when GuoWei swung the beer bottle he was holding onto his head. The world is not for flickering bulbs. Mark’s torso slumped onto the maids’ both motionless. Both dead. GuoWei was heaving. His actions were becoming clearer. What have I done?

GuoWei peeled Mark’s body from the maid’s and held him in his arms. Although there was blood streaming from his head, he had a smile on his face. GuoWei held Mark close to him. “Fuck. I’m sorry Mark.” He quivered as tears streamed down his face. “I’m sorry.”

Chapter 18

Meanwhile

Felicia began her journey towards Mark’s housing estate. She knew something was wrong. She was curious for Janice called her hand phone screaming at her saying that it was all her fault and that he loved her no more and that now Mark had gone mad and that it was all her fault again. She also mumbled something about a baby and that she should come over and settle what she messed up.

Chapter 19

Facing The Mother

Back home, Mark’s mother was sobbing and asking herself what she should do. She did not have the heart to call the police on her own son. She felt he was still her baby. He could still be saved. The doorbell rang. She ran towards it. It could be Mark deciding to change for good.

“I am so sorry Aunty.” Guo Wei said to Mark’s mother as he held his limp body in his arms at the doorway of the house as she opened the door. Blood dripped freely from the side of his head and onto the cold hard floor.

His mother’s heart fell. She shook her head in disbelief. “No no no no!”

She stretched forth and touched his face. “My baby!” she said in a tone unlike her own a moment ago for a mother’s love is unconditional at the end of the day. Then her eyes turned to Guo Wei,condemning, “What did you do to him!” she screamed and grabbed his neck in vengeance. Her grip was supernaturally firm and GuoWei gasped and struggled to breathe but the broken mother did not budge. Guo wei stood there with hands struggling to pull hers off. It dispersed with his tears. Her fingers clenched onto his neck that was soothing as his throat was numb cold. Death rose up from his body; he gagged and attempted to draw his last breath.

Guo Wei fell limp beside Mark’s bleeding body. Janice screamed at this madness.

“Mark” his mother moaned. She stroked his head. She never understood her son. Her own flesh and blood. It was then she noticed the glimmering object on the floor. It was the chopper Mark held before grabbing the maid. She had nothing left in this world to live for and holding the knife, she pressed it into her stomach and laid down beside her son.

“Aunty!” screamed Janice a second too late. She could not keep up with the tragedies and she just screamed and screamed.

Felicia came running from the lift and the sight was too much to bare. She sat beside Janice and cried too. She looked at Mark. He wore a mysterious look she never could understand but it was a look that knew and fell in love with in the first place.

She pulled him closer to her. Janice who was beside her helped and the 2 girls shared his body, hugging the young man they loved.

“I loved him so much.” Felicia said.

Janice looked at him, “We were going to have a baby.”

“I believed he had changed.”

“Before you came into his life Felicia, we used to make love everyday.”

“But still, he never looked me in the eye.”

“He never told me he loved me.”

“But I loved him so much. I thought we loved each other no matter what. That was enough.”

“Me too.”

“Oh God Janice. Who is this boy we know?”

Sobbing, Janice said, “I don’t know Felicia. I just don’t know. All I know is that I’m all alone now.”
“No you are not.” Felicia replied, looking straight at Janice.

Mark who was in their arms was soon forgotten and their arms stretched further to hold each other. Mark’s head was sandwiched between their bosoms as they embraced. The 2 broken hearts sealed together. Arm locked. Lip locked. Everything swirled into a dizzying mosaic of emotions left behind. Life picked up its debris. Hearts recuperated in quiet nooks of the housing estate. With quiet abated breaths. Silence reigned again.

Chapter 20

Awaken

Felicia was roused by a conversation. She fell asleep on the couch. Light poured into her eyes as she struggled to focus. She saw policemen. And the pain and atrocity of the day before came flooding in like a nightmare gone wrong.

Janice was sobbing and repeating, “I don’t know why he did it. I don’t know where he went. When I woke up, he was gone.”

3 bodies were covered with groundsheets. The maids’, GuoWeis’ and Mark’s mothers’.

“Felicia.”

Janice turned to her, saying, “Janice. Mark’s gone. He ran away.”

Chapter 21

Finding Mark

God does not approve of mark. God took mark away. God knows Mark was not good for me. She uttered under her breath as she tottered under the mellow yellow and baby blue of the morning. She was wearing mark’s haversack that was strewn on the floor. It was empty but it was there and she just took it.

God dos not approve of mark. God took mark away. God knows mark was not good for me.

Mark.

She tripped onto a tile on the pavement and grabbed what she has left of him. It felt more real than god. It felt soft and poetic. She struggled to remember his vibe. She grappled on sanity and madness because life still ticked on and continued her journey home.

Mark’s crushed roses had not withered and they were found in the vase on the table. She slapped herself in punishment because mark crept back into her mind. She placed his haversack which she felt was now hers on the floor. The living room was brightening with the rising sun. She was going to start anew.

Chapter 22

Revelations

She climbed the stairs to greet her grandmother when she noticed she was sitting on her bed wet and stark naked. Felicia was taken aback by her vulgar disposition.

“Eh Aunty Margret are you okay?”

Felicia walked towards her grandmother picking up her clothes strewn on the floor.

“Sorry I couldn’t come back yesterday. A lot of things happened.”

Felicia walked over to her side and hugged her tightly.

“Something tragic occurred yesterday. You know Mark? The nice boy who gave you those flowers? He became crazy and started doing evil things. He went berserk!” She said as she hugged her. “Now the police are looking for him. He ran away.”

That was when she realised the bundle of clothes she held in her hands had a leather belt and a pair of trousers. Looking closer, there was also a pair of men underwear.

“Wh-whose is this?”

It was when Felicia realised but a searing pain was felt below her chest. When she looked down she realised her grandmother stabbed her with a knife. She backed away in shock and her eyes begin to go out of focus. Her grandmother stared on. She pulled the knife out and struggled to stand and comprehend. Soon she lost her strength to the pain and she fell down nauseous. As she laid there, she noticed her grandmother was looking towards the toilet and suddenly her face lit up with a smile she had never seen before on her face. As she looked towards that angle, she saw a naked man walking out of the toilet and squatting in front of her. He was shaking his head. He had the eyes of someone so familiar. Someone she was so in love with. He was Mark.

He touched her cheek that was getting cold and said, “I’m not evil. I didn’t kill anyone. They all did.”

After which, he stood up and walked over her and went towards Margret to kissed her.

The End

Chicken rice

2008-08-21T17:39:00.000+08:00

The podium was coming into sight. Air doesn’t seem to be inhaled well with every step closer. Thoughts never lasted beyond a moment. Her heart was pounding in her uniform. She gripped the plastic bag tighter as she looked up at the dull gates of the podium, she pushed the grilles and slipped through the crack. She climbed the stairway up onto the spectator benches which was the only entrance to the competition pool at this time. It was late. The house lights were switched off and the only lights there were the lights illuminating the swimming pool, creating auroras that dance on walls. She walked down the benches on the podium’s left. she picked up the clipboard on the desk next to the locker. He had not signed out yet. She placed it under her arm and walked towards a bench with his bag.

He didn’t see her with his back facing her metres away, pulling the lane separators from the water all by himself.

He wiped drips on his forehead with his bicep. That was when he saw her.

“I got chicken rice.” She raised the red plastic bag.

His arms were busy. He replied with a smile.

Coiling the last of them, he grabbed his towel and goggles at the corner of the pool and motioned towards where she was, drying his hair vigorously. He pulled out his yellow and red nylon jacket and wore it over his torso as he was getting cold. He pulled out his Nike squirt bottle and drank up. Putting it down, he took the clipboard beside her and using his abdomen to support the clipboard, he signed it. He then went to sit at the other corner of the bench, staring into the huge banner on the wall. The swim meet is this Friday.

“You’ll surely win something. For sure.” She passed him his plastic spoon, chicken rice and a bulbous sachet of chilli. “The project presentation tomorrow, I settled most of the slides already. The errors have been edited. I decided to leave the formula in its full form because Miss Lim said the short hand version people might confuse with the neutralizing one. I placed the thumb drive in your bag already together with a print out. Don’t worry kay.”

“Thanks.” He said looking at her relishing the chance.

He snapped off the rubber band and unwrapped his pack of chicken rice and began eating it. She stole a glance as he chewed on the chicken and then away again. She ate her chicken rice too.

It was then he secretly glanced at her from the corner of his eyes. Not fully looking at her but just parts of her petite body. Her legs. Her hair. She was looking away as she ate at the other end of the quiet bench. The way the light splashes on her; the ambience was surreal.

He felt stupid sitting at the other end of the bench with all the bags and stuff in the middle separating them both. He silently began shifting the bags to the back of the bench and shifted close to her and he resumed eating.

A cold droplet of water fell on her arm. She turned and realised he was close now. Her heartstrings tingled. She prayed to God for strength.

She shifted her legs just beside his and their packets of rice on their laps were now alongside each other.

“Eat more chicken. It’s better for you.”

She took pieces of meat from her pack of chicken rice and placed it in his. Rice dropped from the edge of her spoon onto her arm and his thigh.

“Opps, I’m sorry”

“Its okay.”

He indifferently picked every grain that fell on his lap and wrist and placed them into his mouth. There was a grain on her forearm. He lunged towards her arm and pecked it off with his lips, leaving a warm wet oval shape. As he withdrew his head, his nose dragged on the skin of her arm. She winced and flushed uncontrollably but lucky for her he did not see her flustered visage as he had resumed his eating.

She sat there motionless, thinking, hoping, savouring.

How she wished so deeply in her heart that that very grain of rice fell on her lips.

Night Safari

2008-08-16T23:42:00.002+08:00

She was piqued that she had to be out here instead of sitting in the comforts of her own home watching her 8 o'clock Chinese dramas. She was also unhappy that she has to endure an entire night being sticky and sweaty in a dingy tourist attraction with 15 noisy scoundrels.

Miss Lim stood outside the antelope enclosure with her arms crossed. The last of the 15 youngsters scurried into the viewing platform. Eric recited the information about antelopes. She looked at the tour guide in the strategically lit circus of the night.

He made all the children laugh; even quiet Joseph, Yet he had an attractive indifferent vibe that the children couldn’t sense. Also she realised that Hannah somehow decided to hold his hand...

Why?

Then letting her thoughts sink deeper, she did feel a resonating warmth from him in the growing cold of the night. His voice maybe. Or his glances. Or perhaps even the way his short hair had a silver lining against the glare of the night safari lights.

On the other side, he didn’t bother her knowing very well from the ticket counter for she did not present herself as a very friendly trainee teacher. He didn’t trouble her anyway. She was free to stand around and wait for time to pass.

Alex from the bunch of 15 fell and grazed his knee on the jagged rocks.

“Alex! What did Mdm Asfylah tell you before we came? No running right?” She squat beside the tubby boy. Idiot. “Let me see it.” She opened her small haversack and took out a sachet of tissue paper to wipe his scraped knee.

That was when a strong smell of sandalwood lingered close. Then a figure about her size but a bit larger squatted beside her.

They glanced at each other.

“Miss Lim. We are reaching the tram station anyway. There’s first aid there.”

“Okay. Great.”

Eric held Alex and uttered something into the little boy’s ear. He then turned and told Alex to hop onto his back. Wearing Alex like a haversack, Eric trotted to the front and led the group on.

At the tram station Miss Lim managed to sit all the children down in a quiet corner and distribute the indented snack of a sandwich and Milo. That was when she realised one of the kids was not with the group. She remembered Alex was injured and Eric is probably attending to the wound. As only the children had indented meals, Miss Lim decided to buy a meal from the Banyan Café for Eric. A simple gesture of appreciation for doing an outstanding job. She looked around but Alex and Eric were no where to be found.

A soft “Ow” resounded from stairway beside huge potted palms. Miss Jenny Lim proceeded there.

“…later the girls see you cry like that, how?”

She saw Eric squatting in front of a now sobbing alex who’s leg wound has just been medicated. Eric was unfurling a reel of gauze when he looked up at what Alex was looking at.

“Miss Lim.”

"Hey. "

She looked at him. Then at Alex.

"Is he okay?"

“Yup. All good.”

Eric wrapped the cotton around Alex’s leg, and taped it in place.

“Okay done.”

Little Alex stood up and hugged Eric. Eric was was taken aback but eventually laughed. Miss Lim also couldn't help herself and chuckled.

Alex scurried away to his friends leaving Eric and Miss Lim alone.

“Alex don’t run!” Miss Lim said. Turning back, Eric was keeping the left over bandages and the bottles of medication.

“I’m sorry for all the trouble.” Miss Lim said squatting down and placing the last sachet of cotton balls into the first aid kit.

“No prob.” He said, “part of my job.”

“Still. Thanks. Oh.” She took the contents of her plastic bag and shoved them onto his lap.

“No its okay.”

“Eat. You have worked really hard.”

“You bought it from the café? Its overpriced for the tourists.”

“Well you deserve it.”

He stared at it for a long time.

“Thanks. Miss Lim”

Silence.

“Jenny. You can call me Jenny. I’m a trainee teacher under Mdm Asfylah. The malay lady who took the other 15 pupils.” She said poking the straw into her packet drink. “So, how long have you been working here?”

He glanced at her for a second and fastened the first aid kit.

“2^nd week. I’m only a temp.”

“Oh”, Miss Lim sat down making herself comfortable and went on. “Waiting for uni?”

“Yes.” He said reluctantly, “We need to oversee the kids Miss Lim.“ He gave a look at her then looked at the children.

She looked over towards the group of children. They were relatively silent. “They’ll behave la.” She quickly turned back at him. “Which uni and which course?”

“I’ll be studying in NUS law.”

She was taken aback. “Law?”

“Yes Law.”

“Why on earth are you working in the night safari?” she chuckled.

Silence.

“It’s not important. I will go return the first aid kit to the store.”

“Wh-“

He stood up and walked away. Miss Lim was left there puzzled by his apathy towards their conversation.

The tram came rumbling alongside the station. The children have began to grow noisy and wild as they were getting restless and reenergized after eating. Eric began arranging them 2 by 2 and buckling them to the seats of the tram.

Miss Lim supported injured Alex to the last carriage last seat.

At the penultimate seat, Eric buckled them tight. Eric then proceeded to the last seat where they sat and sat himself with them, wedging Alex in between the Miss Lim and Eric.

The tram rumbled to a start.

“You are really good with children.” She said. "But not so good with people about your age."

He sniffed and rubbed his nose. “I’m sorry.”

“Me too.” She shook her head and looked out. “What’s that?” she said, seeing an animal grazing in the dark shadows

“That’s a tapir. It’s an animal from Indonesia. Descendant of the elephant.”

“Really cute.”

She looked at him.

“You should see it when it’s young. Has white spots all over.”

“Really?”

Silence.

The ride was slow.

Alex shifted.

Miss Lim placed her hand on Alex’s back. But her hand landed on Eric’s warm hand that was already on his back. Miss Lim felt an icy chill run through her spine. She fought within herself whether to remove her hand or not. This resulted in strange jitter. Self conscious, Miss Lim glanced at Eric to see if he noticed.

He was already looking at her, bending towards her. And he was looking at her in a manner that is very different.

The tram rumbled on and their faces hovered closer.

He moved in to kiss her but she backed away. He looked down but that was when she made up her mind and kissed him.

Alex who was wedged in between, was oblivious of what was going on at the back.

They stopped kissing abruptly as the tram screeched to a halt having reached the entrance cum exit of the Night Safari.

The seatbelts simultaneously unfastened and the children began to move about.

Eric took off to mind the children again. Miss Lim’s eyes were glued onto him. Her hand in limbo from touching the very face and the very lips she kissed.

“I want to see you again.” She managed to locate him once more near the bus bay.

“Then come back to night safari Miss Lim.” he said flippantly as he aligned a handful of brochures.

It wasn't funny.

“Can I have your number at least?”

“I’m sorry.”

It was then she realised something she didn’t consider.

“I’m sorry, you... have someone?”

“No. but I’m sorry today’s a crazy night. The light and the darkness. Feelings get lost with the enchantment of the place. Its better if we forget each other.”

“No. No! Absolutely NO Eric. We have to continue where we left off”

The bus horned at its arrival.

“I’m sorry.”

There was a cold and hurtful silence. Miss Lim felt sadness rise within herself.

“What is happening? A voice from the back resounded.”

It was Mdm Asfylah. She noted a tear streaming down Miss Lim’s face.

“Miss Lim is there a problem?”

She shook her head and wiped her tear.

“What ever it is, it looks serious. I’m complaining to your management.” She glanced at him and held Miss Lim by the shoulder as they boarded the bus. At the bus, she froze, unable to step up onto the bus.

“Miss Lim lets go.” With a firm nudge from her teacher mentor, she proceeded up the bus but not without a final glance at Eric.

Turning back, he was no longer there.

End.

Last train

2008-07-20T14:37:00.003+08:00

Last Train
Kevin, Eric and Elaine standing in the MRT train homebound.

Eric yawned loudly and slapped Kevin’s shoulder. “My stop. I’m tired. See you tomorrow.”

“Mmm.”

Elaine looked at Eric and gave him a smile.

“Bye dear,” Eric kissed her on the lips in his most loving manner. Kevin looked away from the couple. His hand on her waist made his stomach wrench. “be safe when walking home okay.” Eric said before leaving the train for good. Their carriage, the one at the back of the train where they stood, was almost empty now except for an old man slumped on the seat and a young malay girl whispering on her handphone.

The last homebound train rumbled on. Elaine was particularly tired too as the gathering ended so late. She caught sight of the available corner seats that came in pairs.

“Let’s sit.”

The both of them proceeded to the seats and she sighed with relief as the weight on her feet was lifted.

Kevin and Elaine lived near one another and had always travelled home together when they were schooling. Small talk was not necessary. Kevin knew everything about her. He stalked her on facebook. Read her blog. Asked about her from her boyfriend and close companions. There was nothing to talk about. But there was way too much mysterious pressure about something, hints of senseless fear and anxiety. Kevin didn’t know where they all came from but they were definitely evident.

It was another stupid day for Kevin. Stupid because everyday his chances grow slimmer. Slimmer because everyday he did not budge. He did not budge from the very first day he saw Elaine. When Elaine and him were good friends, he didn’t say he liked her. He didn’t even hint in any manner or gave obvious signs. Shy maybe but Kevin was also unsure if such a girl like Elaine would ever want stupid Kevin. Today, she’s attached to his friend Eric, who was introduced to him. Today he was unable to look and laugh with her in the manner he could years ago for it now felt distant and weird. All he could do was share her presence. Savour her essence. Engulf her in him discreetly...

He stared across at the pair of empty seats adjacent to theirs. Slowly his eyes closed to the drone of the train and the thoughts of what could have been.

There was a light tap on his shoulder, a lingering bristle-like prickle on his neck then another thud on his shoulder. Opening his eyes, he turned his head only by a bit and saw Elaine whose head was now laying on his shoulder gently, falling asleep unintentionally. She was beautiful and long haired as usual.

It was blissful while it lasted.

The train jerked.

She woke up, rubbing her eyes.

Awkward moment.

“Was I using your shoulder? I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” He said leaning back.

“And I drooled all over your sleeve!” rubbing the wet patch, “this is so embarrassing.”

“It’ll dry.” Kevin said. He didn’t mind. In fact, he was savouring that very patch on his shoulder.

The train slowed to a stop. Jurong East Interchange. Their stop.

They got off.

“Elaine, I think we take a cab. I better send you home la.”

“I stay just there.” She pointed to the block of flats a distance away. “It’s walking distance.”

“You are tired. And it’s late. It’s not safe to go home by yourself.” He asked genuinely concerned about her safety.

She looked at him behind her curtain of fringe…

Cars roared past as they paced along the roadside.

Kevin flagged a taxi down and the both of them sat at the backseat.

She didn’t sleep now for she was thinking.

“Eric must have asked you what I was like right? I mean I got to know him through you. You must have told him things…”

“Ya.” Kevin said.

“What did you say?” she said honestly interested.

“I said you were nice.” He scraped his fingernails listlessly.

She looked at his distracted face deeply. She knew him too well. “No that’s not it. Tell me.”

He looked out.

“I just said," he stopped because he recalled the very day and the very words. “I told him Eric, never ever hurt Elaine. Because," a breath he tried to muffle, “She’s the nicest, most beautiful girl I’ve ever met. Someone I really do treasure a lot. And that you should take care of her well; please. And he said okay. Then I said thanks.”

He exhaled, like a sigh but muffled. And looked at her a bit then didn’t want to see her reaction so he looked away again like a loser. He didn’t know where to look. His head was throbbing.

There was silence in the taxi. It was not a cold silence for within Elaine, it was one with escalating emotions due to the realisation unfurling. It was a clumsy and unintentional declaration of Kevin’s enduring love to Elaine by a hopeless nobody. It was neither here nor there. Awkwardness reigned over.

“Kevin.” Elaine said. Kevin turned and looked at her now. “Come here.”

He looked at her. he was sitting just beside her. he didn’t know what she meant.

She flushed her head against his. Feelings within her erupted like a sprinkler, while his heart felt like a gushing river filling a thirsty trough that was dry for many painful years. Kevin was emotionally vulnerable. His nose nestled on the back of her shoulder and he closed his eyes in bitter relishing.

She searched for his lips with hers.

“No.” he looked away.

“Kevin,” she placed her hand on his cheek and wiped away an unnecessary tear with her thumb. She needed to kiss his love. He moved his head away again out of her clambering reach.

“Elaine. Don’t cheat on Eric.” He pleaded in a deep warped pain.

The taxi reached the destination where she lived.

Silence, cold.

Her eyes glanced away and it felt like a whip across his heart. She flipped her hair with her hands and meddled with her handbag, snatched out a ten dollar note, placed it on the seat and left the taxi with an agitated slam.

The taxi moved off with Kevin inside, his eyes trailing Elaine for the last time into the lift…

Closing.

Gone.

The end.

The dream

2008-07-19T01:48:00.000+08:00

Oh how we all dream.

Oh how we all dream
that our Dream has dreams about us.

Oh how we all dream
That our dreams collide and somehow be brought together by fate.

Forward
This story is almost poetic as it is psychedelic, written in rather short paragraphs.
Infatuation. Everybody is infatuated by someone, sometime in their lives. And we dream about it of course. So cheers to The Dream.

The Dream

Block 234, off North Bridge Avenue. #01-03, Evergreen Bookstore.

Mark entered the bookstore with the intention of purchasing a highlighter.

A highlighter it was but as he walked through the aisles of shelves, she caught his eye and he slowed to a prowl.

She had the button nose and the deepest eyes that he had a serious penchant for. But of course he didn’t stare. It was rude and intruding. He looked busy and struggled to look normal.

Wendy was her name; it said on her name tag.

The transaction at the counter was a silent one, after which he left the store seemingly apathetically. Understated and controlled, just like normal.

He felt comfortable with her visage in his mind that night. The short discreet glances at her were extended into longer hotter moments. His mind made her do things. His mind created new moments. And there was nirvana in his pants.

The next day it made him return to the very same store. She was not there. He remembered standing outside of the shop for a while and gave up. He headed off home soon after.

That evening it poured heavily outside and Mark was watching Galatica on Starworld and eating cup noodles on the sofa set alone. That was when there was a knock on the door.

Unlatching the chain, he opened the door and saw a young girl that struck a chord deep. It was Wendy . The Wendy. She was drenched to the bone, flustered and breathing hard.

Was this a dream?

“M-may I help-" but before he finished his sentence, she pushed herself in.

“Mark.”

She knew his name. Wendy knew his name. Wendy is standing in front of him in his own home.

This is a dream.

“Yes?” he answered.

“Love.” She said swallowing her saliva, looking through long black icicles that were her fringe. “I want it again.”

A loud thunderous boom resounded outside.

He did not understand this request of hers. No. it was more like, he did not want to misunderstand this.

“Love?”

She moved towards him and grabbed him and kissed him like this had happened before.

He went with it but thinking deeply, he was confused and he pulled himself away.

"Stop."

“What’s the matter?” she said removing her blouse and unveiling a black bra. She advanced once more now stroking his cheek down to his neck then cupping his shoulder.

Her touch and her kiss were real. So was the sound of the rain. His senses pulsated. He pinched himself and he felt pain.

“Wendy.” He nudged himself away again despite his obvious arousal down there.

“What’s the matter?”

“I don’t know you Wendy.”

She frowned at him.

“What are you talking about?”

“We never made love yet. I mean we never made love before.” He looked at her, “We saw each other, but only briefly. In the bookstore.”

“Mark what are you talking about? Don’t you remember that afternoon, closing time, you came in and we did a little something in the storeroom?”

Mark thought hard. How could he forget such a thing as this? He remembered nothing except for his own private fantasies of her.

She pulled herself onto him once more.

“Maybe you can remember after we do it again.”

“Wendy,” he said allowing her to do her thing, “I know its, (silence as he collects his thoughts.) I think you were dreaming.”

Silence.

She backed down as she was dumbfounded and stood there motionless for a while.

“Dreaming?” She frowned but then gave a desperate backlash, “It cannot be. We had a great fuck. I remembered it. I swear.”

Mark shook his head, “I don’t recall.” He stood there squinting, “Nope, never happened. I swear.”

She held her head and thought hard but things did not connect with what he claimed.

“But I remembered we fucked real hard. It was so good.” She said without a cringe of embarrassment. That was how passionate about how she felt and also how desperately she wanted it again. “I remembered your tattoo. There. On your chest.”

Mark took off his t-shirt unveiling his torso clean of tattoos.

“It was a dream Wendy.”

She stood there staring at his clean chest.

“We had sex in the storeroom I remembered everything."

Her voice trailed off and faded away drowned in her own thoughts.

Silence. Mark was beginning to fidget.

“Oh god it was a dream wasn’t it,” she said in a slow dreamy stance. She picked up her shirt and prepared to wear it on.

Silence.

“It probably was.” He didn’t want to sound sad himself but somehow he genuinely was.

“Is today a dream?”

The rain crashed down as heavily as ever.

“Mm no.” He shook his head, “I thought it was.”

Silence.

“Oh God.” She covered her eyes with her palms.

“Tt’s okay.”

There was a long silence except for a distant boom of the thunder. Mark looked up, touching the part she held a moment ago. There was a chance, he looked away. He looked up and back at her feet again.

“The sex we had,” he looked at her with the eyes now, “in your dream…”

“Yes?”

Silence.

“It must have been amazing?”

“Hell it was.” She said.

“I sort of, dreamed of it myself, you know,” he said.

“You did?”

“Well when I jerk off, yes.”

He looked at her uneasily. In other contexts, what he said was demeaning but tonight, somehow, somewhat, things felt different.

Silence.

“So these ‘feelings’ are mutual in some way, am I correct to say…” she looked at him, gesturing.

He looked at her. Somehow every pending moment was exciting and he was starting to heave for no apparent reason…

-

Block 234, off North Bridge Avenue. #01-03, Evergreen Bookstore.

The bells on the door jingled which meant a customer is has entered the bookstore. She flicked her fringe that were in her eyes and placed down her nail polish. A young man in a t-shirt walked in and she was attracted to the lone figure. But of course she didn’t stare. It was rude and intruding. She just looked busy and struggled to look normal.

He bought a yellow highlighter.

When he came to the counter to pay, she noted the books he held on his arms were labeled “Mark”. The transaction was silent and he left after a while and she resumed painting her nails.

But that night, it was blissful under the covers of her room.

As I said in the beginning:
Oh how we all dream.

Oh how we all dream
that our Dream has dreams about us.

Oh how we all dream
That our dreams collide and somehow be brought together by fate.

Only Her Teddybears Know

2008-07-04T21:56:00.001+08:00

photo taken by me.

Only Her Teddybears Know

By me.

FORWARD

Sorry there was a bit of mix-up in the names. Thanks for the feedback. I've since rectified them. Only Her Teddybears Know is a beautiful disaster. A journey of gradual revelation, misconceptions, fate and choices within the fragile nature of relationships. This story is meant to be filmed but here it’s written like a story. This is a story focused on the heart and the ability of the readers/audience to connect or seem to connect with the characters. The characters created are not stock characters but have many layers that leaves the audience guessing the mystery of one’s behaviour. Yet the audience and readers can still be able to fall in love with the innocence of characters in a sinful world and cold hard reality. The flowing pain of the protagonist’s broken heart puts viewers on an emotional rollercoaster that is not cheesy or corny because the love presented is real and reasonable. But deeper, it is a story about different people who are victims of circumstance. Key inspirations for this story includes Juno as well as Jodi in terms of writing in a ‘timeless’ style.

Enjoy.

Chapter 1

Pon pon.

Kevin looked up and then to his watch and then up again. It has been twenty minutes. He couldn’t believe it.

Pon Ponnn.

He honked the bicycle horn again with a little more impatience and redialled her number on his mobile phone again. Still no answer anyhow. He rubbed the rim of his bicycle handle restlessly. That was when from the top of her head could be seen scurrying to the elevator landing of the forth floor. Down below, he sighed and picked up his haversack from the floor and kicked the metal bar that propped his bicycle up and hopped into position. The elevator pinged and Wendy hurried out towards Kevin. She almost tripped on a curb to where he stood.

“I’m okay.” she said flipping her particularly unkempt hair which surprised Kevin a bit.

“I know you are. You are just late. Again!”

“Yes!” she said sternly, narrowing her eyes. “In fact, you could have gone without me I don’t need you to fetch me to school I have my legs.”

He looked at her in the eyes and gave her a look that made her shrivel up inside. She turned away.

“Lets go.”

Without even glancing at him, she climbed onto his bicycle, sat and held his waist with an arm reluctantly. He kicked off and began cycling standing up, across the estate towards the grey buildings that paved the way to Wendy’s school. Kevin was used to this journey. In fact he has been riding Wendy to her Secondary school since Sec 1. He would pick her up at 6.30am exactly from below her block and cycle her to her school. There, he would park his bicycle at the bicycle stands and take a straight bus to his secondary school which was further down. When school ends, Wendy would wait for Kevin to pick her and cycle her back to her home before he goes back to his own home.

They didn’t speak today. Tension was brooding and Kevin cycled faster than ever chasing time and venting his angst. Wendy gripped tightly, embedding her head in his black haversack in front of her, afraid to look up. Usually during the uphill part of the journey, Wendy would get down and they both would walk up the slope side by side together, for it was an easier task for Kevin. However today, they did not get off the bike. Kevin was bitter. He took hard strides on the pedals, moving them both up the hill. He really had no time to loose. They were both going to be late. Wendy heard and felt his every pant and strain. Her fingers were grasping onto his expanding and contracting torso. She felt heavy and evil. It was psychologically unbearable but she just sat there. She knew she could not stop him from exerting like that for he was in a rage. And she felt he was over-reacting.

A screeching halt marked the end of the journey and Wendy looked up. Her friends Jessica and Leanne were leaning on the gate giggling and catching a glimpse of Kevin. They were very young; barely fourteen. Never knew how jealous others were of their relationship. Leanne always swooned at how Kevin was Wendy’s knight in shining armour. Jessica couldn’t agree more. In fact she was very impressed Wendy could hook up with someone from another school. It meant she was cool. That day, Kevin had a sombre expression and said nothing as she hopped off the bicycle. The minute she got off, he pushed it to the side where a whole bunch of bicycles were parked and chained his there like always. Wendy disappeared with her girl friends without looking back at him. Kevin resided under the shelter of the bus bay to wait for his bus to fetch him to his school, sweat dripping from his temples.

Chapter 2

Afternoon

After school when birds begin to fight for their tree and people were all heading home, Kevin got down from the bus and walked towards Wendy’s secondary school. Students in white and blue were busily streaming out. He headed towards the bicycle fence where he parked his bicycle. It was where Wendy waited for him to cycle her back home. But that evening, the bicycle was gone and Wendy was not there. Kevin could not believe this. He kicked a can into the drain.

“That bitch!” He uttered through gritted teeth.

He couldn’t believe it. That evening he walked home the familiar tracks alone first time in 6 years. 2150 days they travelled home together. 52560 hours they looked up to meet and journey with each other and savour the 30 minutes worth of footprints and bike tracks have paved their path to and fro this very route. Kevin recalled the days when they were in the same primary school not too far from where he was now by the turn at the left. Then, Wendy too had a bicycle of her own. Like present, Kevin would wait for her at the ground level of her block like the present. He would horn his on the bicycle that was too big for him then. Wendy would always be waiting for him early outside her house at her home’s doorstep where she would hug her bag and peep down occasionally to see if he had arrived. Upon hearing his honking, she would yell “Coming!” and would drag her own green bicycle into the elevator down to meet him. They would take off and cut through the estate making as much noise with their ringers and horns as possible, passing those dusty grey buildings that were now gone and towards the path between the jungle and the road where they dodged low branches and ignorant joggers. At the part where there was the hill, Kevin remembered they would compete to reach the top. Of course he would always win. Then they would always rest at the bus stop at the peak where they often exchanged jokes and laughter. He remembered once, they played with the bus drivers. They pretended to want to board the bus when they saw a bus approaching and when the bus approaches, they both would bolt away as fast as they could, and hide behind a tree.

He remembered especially when it rained, he would meet her 30 minutes earlier, 6am when the night was really pitch dark. They would don their huge raincoats and push their bikes all the way to school. Kevin remembered the cold hard silver raindrops that shattered all over and made his eyes all fuzzy. He remembered swimming in the raincoats and seeing Wendy’s hair look like shimmering black icicles with a raindrop at the end. He recalled how they both would still end up late and all drenched anyway despite the raincoats.

Things got better when Wendy broke the ‘unfortunate’ news that she had to give her bicycle to her younger brother because he needed it more for he starts school at a school further than hers. Since then, Kevin shared his bicycle with her. She always sat on the seat as he peddled the bicycle standing up. He remembered he never complained and was always cheerful for she never tires him. Some days they would share an ice cream cone and she would hold it for him to lick and they did not turn the ice-cream. They licked on the same spot. For they were like that. They remembered listening to Westlife on his mp3 player. One earpiece in his, one earpiece in hers. They would croon louder than the song of the cicadas.

Whether it was feeding their breakfast to the fishes in the drain or chasing each other on their bikes, every moment was magic. Now Kevin was walking alone. The joggers dodged him now. He knew he had shouted at her this morning. He never did that ever before. And he knew she was scared by the way he rode the bike too. She felt her head on her back and her fingers gripping his torso. But he was still angry about her lateness these days. He felt she had to be responsible and reasonable to not cause them both to be late. However Kevin also noticed she didn’t look her usual these days too. Maybe she was stressed or sick. Whichever, he felt he should not be so cold to her like he was.

He stood outside her house, knocking on the door. He glanced at the corner where her old bicycle, now her brother’s sat there quietly. There was a clawing on the door and then the sound of the door unlatching. Wendy slid out and shut the door behind her. Her eyes were huge and her lips were a thin line.

“What are you doing here? I sent your bike home and you don’t have to fetch me every morning anymore didn’t you get my message? Now go. I don’t want to see your pissy face again.” She hissed a childish whisper.

“Wendy.”

“Go before my brother sees you!”

“Wendy.”

“I said go!”

“Wendy I want to send you to school tomorrow.” Kevin said, looking at his converse shoes.

“What. Why? You said it. That I’m late all the time now and-“

“But I forgive you.” Kevin looked up into her eyes and she melted at that moment, like she always did when he showed he cared.

“I-“ and yes she couldn’t attack him for she was all soft inside now.

“Alright. I’m sorry I haven’t been well. Things are bad.”

“You want to talk about it? I am glad to listen. I’m sure your brother wouldn’t mind.”

“My-” She didn’t move for a few seconds, and then peeked into the house. “He’s asleep. My parents are out working. Come in.”She widened the crack.

Kevin took off his shoes and placed it behind a pile of flowerpots. He entered a dim and quiet home. Her little brother was sprawled on a mattress in the living room.

“Psst!” Wendy signalled his attention and pointed to her room. Kevin followed her in. It was a cosy room with just a study cabinet, a personnel computer, a bed and a cupboard. On the walls were her posters of bands she liked and thee was a pile of stuffed teddy bears on her bed. He placed his haversack on the cupboard and closed the door behind him.

“Lock it!” she whispered as she removed her head band to release her flowy hair.

Kevin pressed the button on the knob.

Wendy sat on her bed with dancing bears on the sheets. She pulled off her socks one by one and threw them into a corner of clothes to be washed.

“I’m so tired!” she yawned and stretched on the bed.

“You know Wendy I’ve been thinking as I walked to your house from your school.”

Wendy looked at him with curiosity.

“I really cherished the times we spent together, you know. Journeying together to and fro, rain or shine, you know.” He was embarrassed sharing as he stood there, he felt like he was giving a speech. But he noticed a smile growing on her face.

“I know Kev. I thought the same things coming back alone too. We should never stop this.” She said as if daydreaming. Then she shot a look back at him, “Well don’t stop! What else did you remember? go on!”

As Kevin stood there telling her of all the stories he remembered, laughing at all the silly times, they were in cahoots again.

“Come here.” She said.

Kevin crawled onto the bed and squeezed between her and her soft toys. His head brushed onto her elbow. She leaned her head onto his shoulder and it felt snug. Kevin couldn’t fathom what happened next but he knew it was a combination of their school uniforms, the dancing bears, the socks on the floor and their body contact. His head turned to hers and he kissed her on the cheek. That was when she moved her lips up to his and kissed back. Her hand seemed to have fallen between his thighs. His hand slid around her waist and her fingers fiddled open the buttons of his shirt. His head fell back in euphoria.

Soon the smallest teddy bear on the top of the pile of soft toys fell on to the floor next to Wendy’s skirt.

Chapter 3

2 days ago

Wednesday was ladies night. At 2am, the club was abuzz. Men and sensual ladies were seen thronging the landings outside smoking and talking. Stepping out of the car, one of her friends commented that she did look much older. She better did for she was the only one underage. Passing the other cars and a group of laughing middle aged men who looked like they just left work, she followed the 4 girls to a huge entrance where the queues snaked and the bass reverberated through the walls and vents.

“This is it.” Her friend pointed out to her.

It better be. She told herself. She arranged this with her netball seniors who were old enough. The night was hers and she was the queen. Everything went as planned and the 16 year old strutted into the club behind her friends.

The lights grew dimmer but more colourful. The music was loud but it didn’t seem to matter anymore. There were so many people. Men. Women. Looking around, dancing and laughing. She noticed boys began to notice them. Boys began to notice her. She signalled the other girls to leave her.

“You sure you wanna stay here alone? Do you want one of us to stay with you?” One of them shouted under the blare and the strobe lights.

“No. I want to be alone please. Go have fun.”

The other girls shrugged and sashayed onto the dance floor as they left Wendy at the bar counter with an arm on her cheek.

Chapter 4

Present

Pon Pon.

Pon Ponnn.

Kevin couldn’t believe this.

Poooooooooooooooooooonnn.

Kevin dialled her mobile. And it rang but she did not pick it up. Kevin was not only fed up, he was hurt. She was late again.

Then, his mobile beeped and it was Wendy.

Kevin read the message.

‘I cant today. I’m sorry.’

Kevin reread the message many times and couldn’t comprehend. The night before marked the pinnacle of their relationship. It not only confirmed that they had moved to a level higher in their relationship, it also meant that despite setbacks, they could come together stronger than ever. Now that this had reoccurred again, Kevin was deeply disappointed and disconcerted.

As he rode his bicycle to school, alone again, he thought of nothing but her. He imagined her arms around his waist as they rode. He imagined leaning back on her as they let gravity do its thing down the hill. He imagined licking the ice cream she held out to him by her. But now every thought were memories null and void.

Chapter 5

That afternoon

When that marked the end of the school resounded, Kevin packed up his school bag and dashed out like a mad man. He stormed down the flights of stairs, striding seven steps at a time and eventually boarded his bus. Outside his school gate. Upon seeing the Mac Donalds at the cross junction, he began scouting for her. Groups of girls walking in batches of three and four here and there, laughing and talking. None of them was the Wendy he made memories with.

His tummy growled because he skipped his canteen break calling her cell phone countless times but each time, he only got her voice message. He now looked like an idiot standing at another schools’ bicycle stand alone. Students from the school threw him weird glances but his mind was clouded by Wendy’s nonsense. After what seemed and was hours, when all the bicycles have been collected, he concluded that she had not gone to school at all and he miserably set off himself alone again. Without her the bicycle was easier to pedal and it was dreadful.

He stood outside the door of her home once again and rapped at the door of Wendy’s home, hoping to see her again he knew he had to control unwanted emotions. Anger was definitely not what she would want. He wanted to appear supportive for she was going through some kind of phase she has yet disclosed to him. Soon it dawned upon him that maybe it was him that was her issue. Maybe it was something he did. It probably was the sex he thought. For it was bad on his side. Because of his nerves during his virginal experience, he didn’t come.

That was when door opened and a tall figure with a huge belly and a can of Barons in his hand stared back at him.

“What do you want?”

“Hi I’m Kevin. I am Wendy’s friend.”

“Where is that girl?”

“What?”

Where is she where is my daughter?” He said in a demanding tone. Kevin noted that he was slightly drunk.

“I’m sorry I don’t know either because she wasn’t in school today and I was wondering if she was still sick.”

“She is not sick. She is just a disobedient young girl who does not listen to her parents!”

“I’m sorry. Do you know why she has been behaving strangely lately?”

Her fathers face turned sour.

“Do I have to answer to you about my daughter’s discipline? Why must I answer to you? Who you think you are? Her father spat at the side of the doorway, “her boyfriend?” He snorted and slammed the door at him.

“I don’t know.” He mumbled under his breath.

Kevin turned and left lugging his bicycle beside him miserable, tired, hungry and perplexed.

Chapter 6

Night

That night he laid on his bed arms wide open, staring at the ceiling where the trees and lampposts from the outside made shapes. His heart was aching because Wendy was no where to be found. One moment she was in his arms and the next she was gone. Kevin was starting to suspect that he was the cause for this. He was a horrible lover. He was incompetent. And that was on top of the fact that he was not patient with her when he was supposed to. Kevin knew he screwed up bad. He understood that their relationship had changed from friend to lover and during the transition period, every step and word was vulnerable to ruin. Now it was lover to stranger. The fact that she became like this him writhe and kick himself in bed. He pulled his hair sore and screamed in his pillow. Things happened too quickly and too wrong and he could not forgive himself.

Chapter 7

2 months later

It had been two months. Kevin still held on firmly to chances. He would leave his school as early as possible in order to wait at the same place for her to return. But every time he did, he left the place alone. She was not returning for good. What was worse was the day he realised she had cancelled her line. Not even an assuring ring on her phone that was never picked up could warm his ear.

Kevin stood at the lamppost beside the bicycle stand that he had found comfortable to lean on during the long waits. He had picked up smoking because it made time past faster and easier. That had annoyed most of the bikers from the school because of the intoxicating fumes but it attracted Jessica’s attention. Jessica was the girl that had always been jealous of her best friend’s boy companion who whisks her off her feet and rides her home. That day, clutching her books and all, Wendy’s friend walked towards Kevin. Kevin saw Jessica and he vaguely recognised her as a friend of Wendy’s. Jessica on the other hand noticed that he was dishevelled and could not even return her a smile. That was when she concluded that his heart really was broken into a million pieces.

“Oh Kevin!” She said with furrowed eyebrows and concerned eyes.

He snubbed out the cigarette.

“You look horrible these days.”

He turned away from her small talk.

“Kevin.” She touched his wrist to garner back his attention. He was warm from standing in the blistering sun waiting for her at the least shadiest of places. “I thought I should tell you that she’s not coming.”

He lit another cigarette and placed it in his mouth. “I know.”

“Then why do you torture yourself by waiting for her here every single day after school?” she said with utmost pity for the poor soul.

Kevin was silent because he didn’t have the answer. Was this act of standing there waiting for nothing an act of chastisement towards himself? Or was he still clutching on hopelessly to hope? Or was he just following the same practice he had always done since he was very young? Maybe it was all of those.

“I got to go now.” He held his bicycle and prepared to ride away.

That was when he heard her say something that made his heart skip a beat.

“I know where she is.”

Kevin stopped his advance and turned around to look at her. Jessica finally found the glimmer in his eyes again. The glimmer he always had when he looked at Wendy.

“You know where she is? “

“M-my house.” She said her mouth stuttering over whether to say it or not. “I’m not supposed to tell you this! She will so kill me for this.” She said sounding afraid but then she looked at him again. “But I believe she is already killing you.”

She was right.

“Every time I see you here. I really feel sorry for you. No one deserves being left like that at all.”

“So will you allow me to go see her? Please?”

He looked pathetic.

“Come on.” She said and he followed her.

A pathetic fool is what he called himself. He cannot even get over a girl. Cannot even forget about what’s gone. He hated his feelings. He felt weak as a person. He would then ask himself why he is so worked up about things that had past and could not conjure a rational answer. But when he recalled the times, it would be like falling back into the hole he crawled out of all over again. They were so great together. Well, at least that was what Kevin felt.

Chapter 8

That night at the club days ago

The club was pumping, mixing clashing flashes of neon lights and then darkness with every beat. Standing at the bar counter alone, Wendy caught the attention of Jason who was there enjoying the night with his army friends. He slipped away from the group and came over to her side. Wendy looked up and gave him a brief smile to him and she looked away.

“Here alone?” he shouted against the music.

“Yes!” she said, giving him a playful miserable pout.

“You want a drink?” he gave a hand sign that resembled a cup.

She nodded her head. “Please!” and he signalled for the bar tender. This was too easy.

“Any preference in particular?”

“Whatever! The strongest!”

He looked at Wendy with wide eyed surprise and ordered.

"By the way I'm Jason."

"I'm Wendy."

When the drinks arrived, in front of them lay 12 small cups.

“What are these?”

“Tequila shots!” he stood closer to her saying the words into her ears directly. “Take one with me.” He placed his hand on her waist and another took a cup from the table.

“Drink it down like this.” And he took a cup and downed it.

She took a cup and downed hers. It was something really strong and she pulled a sour look on her face. He laughed. “That’s the way!” He pulled her body even closer to his and now she could feel his breaths. But this did not feel awkward at all in this place. It was amazing how anything could happen under the strobe lights. Anything felt possible and easier too. It was his turn again and he downed two cups. She then attempted hers after his like a challenge. As she downed her 3^rd cup, she felt a cold wet circle on her cheek and a lingering nose on her temple. He smelt her. She closed her eyes and tried to savour it.

“You smell good.”He said.

Many shots after, everything was astir and light. “You are really hot.” he said for the hundredth time, picking up the penultimate cup from the table. She picked up the last and drank it with him after which she pulled his head to hers and brought things to the next level. They kissed against the music under the strobe lights. She had never really kissed anyone before. Not even Kevin. But it wasn’t very nice she thought. She felt nothing but went on with it anyway. It was not important.

“You want to dance?” he said, his face flushed apple red with alcohol.

“I got a better idea.” Wendy grabbed the hand that was on her bum and led him out of the club to the car park. There was a mysterious smile on her face. Almost detached. He drank more shots than her and Jason had difficulty walking straight. She pulled out the set of keys from her pocket and fiddled with it till it unlocked her friend’s car.

“Where are we going?” he asked her.

“Nowhere.” She said.

She opened the backseat door and lay on the seat. He got the idea and climbed in after her and began kissing her everywhere again but hands ran wilder and clothes began to come off. That was when she closed her eyes tightly shut and never opened it till the whole ordeal was over.

Chapter 9

Present

“Here we are.” Jessica said. They both stood outside the gate of her home. Jessica rang her doorbell. A moment later the door opened to a young girl with the long fringe that dances gracefully in the breeze and the smile that could stop his heart. Today the Wendy he knew looked different. She had a bump on her tummy. Kevin was taken aback.

“Wendy. I’m sorry.” Jessica tried to explain Kevin’s presence.

“Kevin!” Wendy said, shocked. He was not expected and Wendy shot a vicious look at Jessica. She was not aware of Kevin’s feelings and he was stung by that very act.

“I’m sorry but I could not stand watching him wait for you over and over.” Jessica asserted firmly. Jessica was no push over.

“Wendy you are pregnant.” Kevin said swallowing all his feelings for he knew better. He inched closer to the girl he once knew. He searched for her eyes but she could not look into his. “Wendy.” But still she could not face him. Kevin felt like a huge idiot.

“I’m not going to be involved with this anymore.” Jessica said and walked into her home and disappeared into a room.

“It’s ours.” Wendy said after much silence on her side.

“Why didn’t you want to tell me earlier? Why disappear all these months? What’s going on with you?”

“I didn’t know! I didn’t know I was pregnant!” she sobbed.

“But why did you not tell me when you did? I always tell you everything. I don’t understand! “

She shook her head and burrowed her head in her hands. Everything was hard to swallow for them. After all they were still young.

“Wendy!” whined Kevin. A lump had formed in his throat.

He reached for her but she backed away from him. “Wendy! Don’t be like that! Please!” He felt guilt ridden. It was something he did to her. He realised it wasn’t because the sex was bad. It was something worse. It was irresponsible sex. He didn’t think at all of wearing a condom. Somehow what he did he felt was unforgivable. He realised he should not have went with his emotions that afternoon alone with her in her room. “I’m sorry!”

“No.” she shook her head. “Don’t be. Just leave.”

Every word was like daggers into his heart. It meant he wasn’t wanted. It meant he was unpardonable. That he was nothing. That all his feelings he had always felt was not mutual.

Right there at the door, he remembered when they were 8 when he was going home with his mother from the temple carrying joss sticks and cooking oil. They passed by Wendy and her mother. At that instant, he waved at Wendy and she waved back at him enthusiastically. That was when Kevin’s mother smacked his hand and scolded him.

“How many times must I tell you don’t talk to that Wendy girl already? Aunty Fong says her family is cursed. Her mother is crazy. Her father is jobless and always drinking. I will not allow a relationship between you and her. You understand?” his mother reprimanded her with gritted teeth.

He remembered ignoring his mother and continued staring at Wendy till she and her mother disappeared into the temple.

At present, Kevin looked at pregnant Wendy the same way till the door slammed shut in his face.

Chapter 10

Days later

It was a cold evening in the coffee shop below Jessica’s’ flat as rain was pouring outside. Wendy stared at the blood-red table. One hand holding the translucent handle of her cup of not coffee but milo and the other hand on her swollen stomach that was getting very heavy. There was this comforting idea she had about the rain which helped her drown many things that mattered. Jason who was wearing his number four army uniform for he had just booked out to settle things once and for all with his fling. He sat beside Wendy. Jessica sat across the table from them. He was talking intensively towards Wendy and Jessica was answering him for her with the snidest contempt in support for her troubled friend.

“I told you for the thousandth time, I wore a condom that night when we did it. So the baby is not mine.”

“Condoms are 99 percent safe. It was not your lucky day Mr One Percent. Live with it Jason.” Jessica retorted, sipping her cup.

“I don’t believe this!” he said, adjusting his sleeve. “I know how to wear a freaking condom. I’m experienced for gods’ sake.” He said with a firm assertion.

“Sucks to you then.” Jessica said listlessly.

“This is crazy.”

“Don’t worry you don’t have to bother about the baby. I will give it away to a couple who wants it.” Wendy finally said.

“It is still not my baby I tell you! I said I want a private paternity test.”

“No.” Wendy quickly said.

“Why?” Jason shifted closer, “Because it’s not mine?”

“It is ours!” Wendy began to tear again.

“You are being unreasonable.” Do you know what will happen if I sign as the legitimate father? Shit will come! I will be prosecuted for having a fuck with minor. I will be charged because I am in the army. And what will my parents and my girlfriend say?”

“You have a girlfriend?” Jessica snorted.

“Please Jason. I will tell the police not to press charges and that it was I who initiated it. And that you didn’t know that I was underage.”

“I will not recognise that the baby that you have down there is mine because I wore a freaking condom. And and who the fuck are you?” he suddenly diverted his attention on something else. “and why the fuck are you staring at us?” Jason raised his voice at someone behind them.

Wendy looked up and saw a boy standing behind them in his school uniform. He was drenched to the bone probably from walking in the rain. His eyes were sore red and tearing behind the rainwater.

Wendy’s heart stopped.

“Kevin.”

Chapter 11

A year ago.

Kevin was as drenched as he was that day. But so was Wendy. The sky was still dark for a morning and the storm was like a veil around the two of them at the bus bay on top of the hill they had rode up with their bicycle. The bicycle was leaning on the big green dustbin. They were both already late for school and they had decided to linger a bit longer for blaming their lateness on the rain was a valid excuse. Their legs dangled from the seat on the bus bay and the rain continued to crash down wildly.

Kevin loved the thunderstorms. When the lightning flashes, Wendy would shriek and hide behind Kevin’s’ soaked sleeve. He would then cup her other ear tightly with his hand and the thunder would be less intimidating to Wendy. It was the closest he could get to Wendy and he always felt like a hero. Like her protector over her fears and travesties. That day, after covering her ears from the thuder, Kevin swept his fingers across her long fringe behind her ear neatly.

“I hate the thunder.” Wendy remarked. “But the rain is great.” She said looking blankly at the rain, “allows us to spend time together. Away from everything else.”

Kevin placed his arm around her shoulder and there was this magical moment where they both said nothing at all and simply stared at the rain together.

There was a sudden flash of lightning and Wendy buried her head in his neck closer than usual and it felt snug. After the thunder resounded, she did not withdraw herself from the position. Kevin leaned forward and kissed her forehead.

“Love. You.” He said soft enough for himself to hear only.

Chapter 12

Present, at the coffeeshop

Kevin stood there with the most broken of eyes. His hair was unkempt and one side of his bag strap has fallen off his shoulder. What he overheard Wendy and that army person was talking about betrayed everything she told him the other day. His eyes that always held the softest of emotions whenever Wendy looked into it now held a chiaroscuro of sorrow, disappointment and disbelief.

“Kevin.” She called out but was unable to explain herself.

“You told me,” he swallowed some saliva, “that, the baby was ours.”

“What the fuck,” Jason exclaimed, “Wendy you’re such a slut. He said it is his baby. I’m not going to take in any more of this nonsense. I’m out of here.” The rain had stopped and Jason took his bag and walked off from the coffee shop and was never seen or heard again.

There was a cold silence between Kevin and Wendy now. He couldn’t talk because he could not put into words how he felt. Wendy could not express how horrible she felt.

People around the coffee shop were beginning to stare for the past few heated exchanges which were not very discreet. Jessica suggested that everything they had to clarify and discuss should be held in a less public area and suggested the rooftop of her flat.

Upon reaching the rooftop that was still wet from the rain, Wendy told Jessica to leave them to square things off by themselves and so Jessica left them.

There was an undercurrent of tension between the two who stood there coldy.

“So you sleep around!”, Kevin said accusingly and heartbrokened as the special meaning of the lovemaking they had was ruined just like that.

“I don’t!”

“Why should I trust you now after all these shit you put me through? Not answering my calls, leaving me waiting for you every single fucking day!“ Mark said as tears flowed freely down his cheeks. “I thought we were close. I thought we were more than friends! I was so stupid and wrong!”

Wendy began to tear.

“Kevin!”

“Don’t ‘Kevin’ me!” he said angrily. He was sick of it. Sick that all she could say was his name. Sick that she betrayed every feeling that he felt were growing between them.

She sobbed louder than ever, “I never wanted you to be involved in this!”

“But you said the baby is supposedly ours so I am involved!”

“I didn’t want to tell you because the baby will ruin everything.”

“Not telling me had ruined everything Wendy.”

“I wanted to disappear and give our baby away and resume life normally again.”

“I know the baby isn’t ours anyway.”

“It is ours!” Wendy sobbed.

“I know it isn’t my baby.” Kevin said. “Because during that afternoon when we made out, I was nervous and I didn’t produce any semen at all so I know it isn’t mine.”

“I need you to stop denying.” Wendy sobbed.

“But it doesn’t make sense Wendy.”

“Stop denying it because I really love you and” she paused for emotions were too much for her to bear and she wiped the mucus that was dripping from her nose, “I want you to like me!”

Although she didn’t make sense, there was truth in her voice then and that was when Kevin realised she had loved him back all this while. He softened and turned aside to cry himself.

“I love you Wendy! I loved you since day one!” He shamelessly declared as he moved towards her and held her. But then his hands fell to his sides once more and said, “But now, I don’t know if I still do because I have learnt that everything isn’t what it always seemed to be.” Tears flowed again. “I used to love you soo much!”

Used to. Those words were the most painful words Wendy had ever heard. “Please!” She began to bawl as Kevin sullenly took his bag on the side and left the rooftop of the building. Leaving her crying by herself there.

Chapter 13

Present, outside Jessica’s house.

There was a knock on Jessica’s house door. Jessica opened the door and saw only Kevin. His eyes now wore a detached look, as if his heart was violently ripped out by something horrible.

“Kevin. Is everything settled? Where is Wendy?”

“She’s still on the rooftop. I left her crying there. She was someone I no longer knew.” Kevin said looking at the side. “When she comes back, tell her that my bicycle, she can have it. I don’t need it anymore. After all, the bicycle’s sole purpose was her.” Kevin took out a cigarette and tried to light it but his fingers were shivering violently. “I’m such a stupid boy am I not?” he said with a cigarette stick in his mouth.

Jessica looked at him in pity. He was the biggest victim of everything that happened. That was when Jessica took his hands in hers.

“Kevin you poor thing.” Jessica said, “You are such an amazing loving person. You do not deserve this at all.”

Kevin laughed cynically against his tears, turned and left.

That was when Jessica unveiled something he was supposed to know again.

“Kevin. She wanted to forget.”

Kevin stopped and turned back at Jessica.

“Forget what?”

“She wanted to forget what her father did to her. I spoke to her many times about telling the police about it but she didn’t want her father arrested for she had a little brother.”

Kevin was stunned at the revelation. All these while he never considered Wendy being a victim of a rape.

“She didn’t want to tell you about it because she knew you would either tell the police or kill him if you were angry enough.”

She was right.

“Wendy wanted to forget about the issue but when she realised she got pregnant by her own father, she decided to go out with this guy you saw at the coffee shop at a club. They had sex and that way hoped she could make herself think the baby was someone else’s other than her fathers as it would be a fact easier on everyone and herself to swallow. “

“But things went horribly wrong partly because I couldn’t stand the way you tortured yourself waiting for her. Also Jason was not stupid enough and resisted the suggestion that the baby was his. And it so happened you and Wendy made love in which I swear was not because she wanted to use you like how she used Jason but she made love to you solely because she felt it was the right time in your relationship with her that things could be brought to the next level.”

Kevin kept listening and forgot about his cigarette.

“You know, she told me although it was your first time, that afternoon when both of you made love, it was the greatest day of her life and she made me so jealous. But you were the only option left to save herself from the grief her father bestowed upon her. That was what I felt was a selfish thing to do. She was hoping if Jason wouldn’t, you would sign as the father of her child, give the baby away and resume things that were. But again things do not go as planned and so we have what we have today.” Jessica said, shaking her head at the horrible way things have turned out. “I’m really sorry Kevin.”

“Jessica I have to go.” Kevin said to her and he bolted to meet the girl he left crying on the rooftop.

Chapter 14

He opened the door that led to the open aired space of the roof. The sky was darkening for the afternoon was becoming evening. Puddles of rainwater still resided all around like fallen tears of the sky after an emotional storm. Kevin realised she was no longer standing where she was where he left her.

“Wendy!” he shouted but there was no reply. Could she have left already? But at a turn behind the electricity generator, he saw a pregnant figure standing at the edge of the roof, planning to jumpoff.

“Wendy! Wendy! Get down from there!” he remembered clambering towards her and pulling her arm causing her to fall back upon him on the floor of the rooftop.

Kevin touched her face and swept her hair once more of the love of his life. Her eyes had been crying her skin pale from stress.

“ I will sign the papers. I will be its father!” He whispered in her ear.

She looked up at him with a sad smile. “Why?”

“Because I know!” he said, helping Wendy up to her feet. “I know about what your father did to you.”

Jessica appeared from the stairway and stood at the background.

That was when Wendy realised that Jessica told him everything. Wendy looked like she froze over. “No!” she screamed.

Wendy writhed out of his grasp and backed away from him once more. “Wendy!”

“My father did nothing nothing at all!” She said staring blankly.

“Wendy please. I love you!”

“My father did nothing at all.” She repeated and climbed onto the edge of the roof again.

Jessica covered her mouth and screamed.

“No!” Kevin shouted and lunged forth to catch her but he was too late and she fell all the way down.

Kevin remembered himself screaming and screaming and could roughly recall flashes where Jessica pulled him back from falling with after Wendy and Jessica hugging him tight saying “let it be” and its okay”.

Time. How we chase it and never catch it on time. Humans are stupid things. We let knowing and not knowing play a morose game with our hearts sometimes. Kevin’s heart bled freely as Wendy’s blood flowed freely on the ground floor where people had begun to gather from the sound.

Time moves on and beyond as well. Kevin just laid in Jessica’s arms for the next few hours. Then he was transferred to the police’s arms. Then his mother’s arms soon after. Throughout, he still wore the same look of having his heart ripped out violently by someone.

The End.